South Park Reviews

Episode 1501: HUMANCENTiPAD

2012-01-02T00:30:00.002-05:00

HUMANCENTiPAD (04/27/11)

Synopsis: Cartman tries to get an iPad and Kyle becomes part of a human centipede after agreeing to it through an Apple update.

The iPad came out in April of 2010 and "The Human Centipede" was released in the same month. Had this been 5 years ago Matt and Trey would have made this the opener of the second half of season 14 instead. I remember when they were making Cartman obsess over the Wii back when everyone thought it would totally bomb, which never would have happened today. (Though I bet that being tied up doing "The Book of Mormon" - very funny, btw, and I might review it at some point - impacted this.)

Of the three plots here, Kyle's is the best. Cartman's plot is very similar to the aforementioned Wii plot of "Go, God, Go!", and it's intermittently funny at best. While I've been pulling for character development on the show, I'm not a big fan of Mrs. Cartman not being a pushover anymore. She was much funnier when Cartman shit all over her, and one of the big reasons "Tsst" was so good was that she finally stood up to him. Stan's somewhat better, but feels tacked on to quickly get a resolution.

Kyle, on the other hand, is actually funny. Sometimes the stupidest jokes can be funny, and the Japanese guy's utterly hysterical. (I've seen the actual movie, and I can't watch it now without pulling an MSTK3000 when I see that Japanese guy. Either the iTunes joke or the cuttlefish.) The iTunes licensing agreements should have been parodied a long time ago - if that was real, everyone I know would be in a human centipede right now - and work very well here.

I've changed my original ratings a few times since starting this blog, and this ep is one of them. It's not a first tier by any means, but it's pretty good. And for a show that's been so down as of late, I'll take it.

Rating: B (second tier)

Post-episode: The Poor Kid

2011-11-17T13:46:00.002-05:00

I don't remember laughing as much at an episode in years as I did with this. Yes, the Penn State jokes were overused, but unlike virtually every other running gag they didn't get old. And knowing they would be used again made it funnier for once. Cartman's constant Yo Momma jokes weren't as good, but still better than normal.

That being said, this was probably a B or B+. I've never liked Mysterion, who was written to rip on the current "dark" superhero movie trend, and other than giving Kenny more to do there wasn't a purpose for his reappearance. Also surprised it took Matt and Trey this long to rip on agnostics, and that wasn't great either. But the funny parts outweighed that by much.

It'll be interesting to see how the show plays out in its 20th season, as yesterday Comedy Central renewed it until then. I'll still be here. And I'll be getting up this season's reviews soon.

Preview: The Poor Kid

2011-11-16T13:36:00.003-05:00

Recapping what has been an improved season:

"Ass Burgers" - essentially part 2 of "You're Getting Old," and when I review the episodes they'll be treated as such. Not as dramatic as the first part, and lacks as powerful of an ending, but on the whole much funnier. And while the expected reset ending happened, I'm going to remember the final shot of Stan getting drunk for a long time. (A-)
"The Last of the Meheecans" - going back to the old ways very quickly. Butters accidentally becoming the leader of the Mexicans? Cartman getting hired as a border patrol guy? (Though the Texans vs. Mexicans game was good, and a nice way to end the episode.) Not terrible, but not great either. Just filler. (C)
"Bass to Mouth" - just because Lemmiwinks sounds similar to Wikileaks isn't a reason to finally bring him back. He's a one-joke character who was probably the worst part of his original episode. And Matt and Trey weren't even ripping on Wikileaks - TMZ instead. Cartman was funny at first, but the shitting pants joke, as usual, was run into the ground. (C)
"Broadway Bro Down" - at first this looked like yet another "Randy has a new interest" episode, which tend to suck. But this had a purpose, namely to get Sharon to give him a blowjob. Loved the bro out, especially given that most of Broadway's gayer than Hollywood. Shelley wasn't great, and the ending was another one where a stupid joke writes it (the kid dying because he wasn't wearing his life jacket), but on the whole this was good. (B)
"1%" - not very funny. Except that Cartman actually grows up. That's enough to knock it up a notch. (B)
"A History Channel Thanksgiving" - ripping on cable shows wasn't funny when Matt and Trey did it two years ago and bottomed out with an F episode. Don't know why they chose to go back. And this also brought back the warmed-over movie parody, in this case "Thor." And speaking of stuffing, couldn't everyone just make it from scratch? It's better that way. (D)

On the subject of tonight's episode, I have high expectations. I'm excited to see Kenny. He's been very underused as of late, except in the very overrated Coon & Friends triple parter. This could be very good.

Post-episode: A History Channel Thanksgiving

2011-11-10T02:24:00.003-05:00

Yep, this was just a rip on the History Channel and its stupid shows. It wasn't funny when Matt and Trey did it two years ago for different networks. Don't think I laughed once.

This wasn't offensively bad, just dumb. Fourth tier.

Preview: A History Channel Thanksgiving

2011-11-09T21:38:00.003-05:00

Matt and Trey have made two Thanksgiving episodes, and both ("Starvin' Marvin" and "Helen Keller! The Musical") are A's. "The Entity" also aired around Thanksgiving and deals with the hassles of air travel on the holiday, and that was also good. Judging from that it should be good tonight.

Not sure about the titular History Channel thing though. I do like watching said channel (love the Rome shows) but lately it's been just conspiracy shows and 2012 apocalyptic predictions or dumb reality shows, like "Ice Road Truckers" or "Pawn Stars." I was surprised when they didn't rip on any History shows two years ago during their run of destroying other cable shows ("Dead Celebrities," "W.T.F.", "Whale Whores"). And none of those episodes were any good - "Dead Celebrities" would have been a fourth tier without the Michael Jackson plot, while the other two were.

I have mixed expectations as usual tonight. As is often the case, this appears at first glance to be a real love-it-or-hate-it ep. Let's see which one it is.

Post-episode: 1%

2011-11-02T23:50:00.003-04:00

I was not expecting this to become "You're Getting Old." Cartman actually evolving as a character? Sign me up. Normally I'd complain about the general incoherency of Cartman's plot and what he actually does. Only Cartman's so fucked up in the head that he needs to physically destroy all his stuffed animals in order to do so.

But unlike, say, "Tsst" or "Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut" - two other episodes dealing with Cartman's psyche - the other plot wasn't nearly as good. Or funny. Most of the main jokes, about either the police incompetency; hippie protesters; or the media; have been used many times before. Not that anything was offensively bad, just not funny.

If I was just grading on laughs alone, this would probably be a C. Adding in Cartman bumps it up a notch, probably around a B.

Preview: 1%

2011-11-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not surprised that Matt and Trey are doing an OWS ep. More surprising is the speed at which they're doing it; it's good to see that aspect back. It'll be interesting to see the direction they take it, like with their Tea Party episode. That was hamstrung by the hackneyed parodies of Bill O'Reilly and Glenn back, but this could be very good.

Of course, knowing them it's going to be something anti-OWS. Cartman being the 1% backs that up.

I have high expectations for tonight. This season's a definite improvement over last, and the same goes for this run.

Preview/Post-episode: Broadway Bro Down

2011-10-26T23:47:00.003-04:00

My local library has a restriction on Blogspot sites, and given my exams next week I was in there all day. Even without that I wouldn't have had a long preview of the episode. I can sum up my thoughts in one sentence: Just 4 episodes after Matt and Trey explicitly asked why the hell Randy has a new interest in all his episodes, we're getting that very kind of ep tonight.

I accepted that there's a legit reason to do a Broadway-themed episode, considering their interest and the recent success of "The Book of Mormon." But it still felt odd to go back to the old episodes so quickly. I had a feeling I'll be remembering Stan drinking the Jameson for a long time coming.

That being said, this was a lot better than I thought it would be. Liked the bro parts a lot more, and I was surprised - or, rather, not at the end - that there weren't any gay jokes given how heavily gay Broadway is. (Three of the four composers that Randy broed out with are actually gay, with Webber being the only hetero in the group.) The Shelley subplot was typical in that it only served one stupid purpose (to have Larry Feegan die after not wearing a life preserver), but the "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark" jokes saved it. Even if I was waiting the whole episode for them.

Solid ep, probably a B. Aside from "Royal Pudding" Matt and Trey do know how to make theater episodes work.

Post-episode: Bass to Mouth

2011-10-19T23:25:00.003-04:00

At first I was excited to see the return of Lemmiwinks. Then during commercials I remembered that he was a one-joke character. And that I was pissed off the last time ("Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset") that Matt and Trey brought back the Frog King and the other creatures from "The Death Camp of Tolerance." It's cute that Lemmiwinks sort of rhymes with Wikileaks, but that's not a reason to make a subplot.

Cartman's plot was better. At least it didn't go far in the parody of gay teens committing suicide, as I would have hated it. Liked the cracks at Selena Gomez and Arby's, and the girl shitting her pants was funny as well in the shocking sense. (i.e., like Scott Tenorman.) Though repeating it for Mr. Mackey didn't work as well.

I have a feeling this is going to be a real love-it-or-hate-it episode for the fans, but not for me. Probably around a C, maybe a bit lower.

Preview: Bass to Mouth

2011-10-19T19:30:00.003-04:00

Looks like a parody of the News of the World scandal, which wouldn't be horrifically late like they've generally been with current events. Otherwise I don't have anything to write about. I have neutral expectations for tonight, mostly to find out who they decide to be the hacker.

Post-episode: The Last of the Meheecans

2011-10-13T02:32:00.002-04:00

I'm struggling to find something to write about this episode. It wasn't terrible, but not great either. Pluses: the "Texans vs. Mexicans" game, Cartman on the border patrol, the general satire of why anybody would come to the US anymore with the country in such bad shape. Minuses: not many laugh-out-loud jokes (save Randy's Nooooooooo, though it's been 6 years since the meme happened) and the ending felt very rushed. I was expecting a two-part ep to happen towards the end thanks to the all the storylines.

Honestly this felt like "Funnybot," but without the lows of said ep. Probably mid-high third tier.

Preview: The Last of the Meheecans

2011-10-12T18:28:00.002-04:00

The preview blurb reminds me of... well, "Goobacks" (illegals), "Lil' Crime Stoppers" (game becoming real life), "Die Hippie Die" and/or "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" - hell, any plot where Cartman starts doing something offensive and becomes good at it. It looks like Stan's right about needing Jameson to get through the day in South Park.

I have low expectations for tonight. If it's going to be bad, I hope it would be so bad it's good rather than boring. Though I'd be more confident about the latter happening.

Post-episode: Ass Burgers

2011-10-06T00:31:00.003-04:00

This was an A until the last scene. I was very excited to see the continuation of the last episode, and Stan being depressed was actually funny. As was Cartman in a very limited role (loved the literal Ass Burgers) and both the Cynics and the heads of all the fast food places, which normally I wouldn't find as funny. And Stan getting shitfaced in order to stop seeing all the shit. (Though honestly it would have been better if virtually all the fans didn't already think that, say, "Jack and Jill" or "Terra Nova" was terrible already. But moving on.) The only negative I had was the vaccination plot, which can only popularize the myth that vaccines cause autism, but that's minor.

Then came the last scene, which normally I'd call a fuck-you ending. The instant Stan started on his "I learned something today" speech I knew it would end with one giant push of the reset button. Then "Landslide" again, only this time "ironically." Wish it hadn't been as blatant as it turned out to be, and that knocked the episode down.

But the final shot of Stan getting drunk before going out with the other boys? Normally I'd read a lot into it and say that Matt and Trey are metaphorically saying that they have to continue with the status quo even if they'd really like to take it in a new direction. Or more likely it won't be brought up again. Still a very powerful way to end an ep.

In general this was better than "You're Getting Old," but it lacks a standout moment. Probably a B+, maybe an A- depending on how the season turns out.

Preview: Ass Burgers

2011-10-05T02:38:00.003-04:00

Well, to kick off the second run of season 15: after a wham episode of all wham episodes, Stan struggles to deal with all the changes that happened. Or, Cartman repeats his storyline in "Le Petit Tourette." Or both. I had concluded at the end of "You're Getting Old" that Matt and Trey would wrap up the new plotlines within the first episode, and that's seemingly what's going to happen.

The best way to go would have either continued on with the new show (which, honestly, could still happen, though I doubt it) or pushed the reset button. I'd rather see Matt and Trey try to develop an ongoing plot, which happened in its best seasons, or just acknowledge that continuity doesn't matter anymore. Trying to do both probably won't make a good episode. Or, at best, one on par with the previous episode, which balanced a terrible-as-usual Randy plot with a great Stan one. (And pointed out how stupid Randy was for continually having new obsessions - or M & T needing to find something new for him to do every week.)

After a year or two of working Wednesday nights, being back in school has left me with time to watch the show live like I used to do. Meaning I'll be able to post recaps immediately after airing. I don't know what effect it'll have on my like of the show, but it'll probably have some.

I have mixed expectations for tonight. I pray that Stan gets featured more than Cartman, but that's probably not going to happen. But I am excited to see what the hell Matt and Trey will do here.

Post-episode: You're Getting Old

2011-07-14T15:07:00.000-04:00

I have delayed writing about this ep because, like Stan, I'm a cynical asshole. Normally I would have written about the possible ramifications of Randy and Sharon splitting up (for the second time, though the first was 12 years ago); Kyle and Cartman hanging out; or Stan being depressed. Or the inside references to the show getting old and stale, thanks to the "tween" years joke (9-12, when the show started to get bad) or Sharon's remarks about how Randy always finds some new thing to do. Or Stan actually aging, which I've always wanted to happen. Or Matt and Trey ripping on the fans that still watch the show even if they hate it. (Like me.) If there's ever an episode to rival, say, "Kenny Dies" or "The Return of Chef" in being a game-changer, this is it. I could go on for pages about this.

But, I'm pretty sure none of this will amount to anything in the long run. Matt and Trey have repeatedly said that they're not tired of doing the show, and that it isn't the end. It'll all be resolved by the end of the next episode, which pisses me off to great extent.

So, what's left? A really good ending that manages to salvage an otherwise mediocre episode. At least Matt and Trey explicitly say there's no reason to have Randy doing his latest shit except to get a few jokes, but that doesn't make him any less annoying than normal. And speaking of shit, it's a standard running gag that, as usual, ends up being not funny at all by episode's end. The best part of that was when Stan sees previews for "Zookeeper" and "Mr. Popper's Penguins" which consist of the animals just shitting everywhere. Even that was tired.

But then comes the ending, which is the best thing the show's done in years. It's supposed to be a parody of "serious" endings to TV shows, but also happens to be one itself. (Thank you, AV Club.) I'm a sucker for serious events on the show, primarily because when Matt and Trey do them they tend to be very good. This is no exception, and one of the few true tearjerker scenes the show's ever done.

I'm interested to see how the rest of the season plays out, if only because I'd like to be proven wrong about none of this mattering. On the whole, probably the best episode this season, but still not a first tier.

Preview: You're Getting Old

2011-06-08T02:21:00.005-04:00

Recapping this run:

"HUMANCENTiPAD": the cuttlefish joke gave my friends and I a few weeks' worth of material to reference. Strange how one of the stupidest jokes ever can be so funny. Even though both plotlines (the parody of "The Human Centipede" and the iPad) would have been fresher a year ago, they still worked reasonably well, and the episode wasn't bad. Not great, but not terrible either. (B-)
"Funnybot": jabs at both Comedy Central (the Comedy Awards) and, I would assume, "Family Guy" (what else could a comedy robot be meant to parody?) didn't work well. If the point was to show that Funnybot wasn't funny, it both failed and hurt the show. The Tyler Perry plot, while probably the best part, was done much better on "The Boondocks," and on the whole it wasn't funny. (C-)
"Royal Pudding": what has been a trend this season is to have two unrelated plotlines and tying them together in the third act in the dumbest way possible. In this case, it was the Royal Wedding and tooth decay. The only thing keeping this from an F was the references to Scott and Ugly Bob. That, and Rush's song, which bumped it up a notch. (D)
"T.M.I.": so all guys have penis issues. Very topical. (C-)
"Crack Baby Athletic Association": this should have been an A. Hell, Cartman was great for a change, as was Kyle. (Loved the poutine joke, even if Cartman doesn't know to add cheese curds to the hot tub.) Then some throwaway gag about Slash took over the third act, and defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. Or, rather, a first tier. (B)
"City Sushi": I would have given this around a C after the second commercial break, thanks to the Asian plotline being better than the latest Butters one. And then the third act came, giving the greatest damage to a character since "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina." (D)

The other main trend this run has been to reuse old plotlines. While this isn't necessarily a new thing, it just seemed prominent this season. To elaborate, in order of episodes:

Cartman's plot of wanting the iPad - "Go, God, Go!" and his attempts to get a Wii.
Funnybot - variant on manatee gags from "Cartoon Wars." Awards shows are bullshit? Same message as in "More Crap."
Mr. Mackey directing a school play? Cartman did it in "Helen Keller! The Musical."
"Chinpokomon" and "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants" both had small penis subplots.
"The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000" also featured the boys being told something wasn't real. In this case, the Tooth Fairy, as well as a few other things.

Plus Butters' plot was the same as most times he's been featured. Too many to count.

Given how bad last season was, it would be hard not to improve, and this run would definitely be an improvement. But it's still a far cry from even season 12, let alone earlier ones.

Tonight's episode shouldn't be any better. On the one hand, I like Stan getting older. Even with the floating timeline, it's still nice to see some age progression. On the other, it appears to be both a Randy episode and ripping on tween music. Haven't Matt and Trey done this stuff already? ("Elementary School Musical" and "The Ring" come to mind.)

I have low expectations for tonight. As usual, if it doesn't suck I'll be surprised.

Preview/Post-episode: City Sushi

2011-06-08T01:10:00.003-04:00

Being away for a few days last week, I was unable to see the episode. And again, I had nothing to say about it before it happened. (Aside from possibly featuring Tong Lu Kim, who generally is good.) Which is the second time so far this run.

At first glance, this just seemed to be a standard episode with one good plot and one bad one. The pronunciation of city as "shitty" hasn't gotten old, which is one of the few running gags that hasn't, and the Japanese guys were funny also. And for a while, this was enough to keep the episode going against a standard Butters plot, one where yet again his naivete causes him to get into a shitload of problems. Funny in "Cartman Sucks" and "Butters' Bottom Bitch," but not here. And Butters was the only kid here, though honestly I didn't notice that until reading another review.

Then, as has been the case of late, the third act was a total ass pull. So Tong Lu Kim is actually a white guy, who was Butters' therapist all along. Great. Another stupid retcon done simply to get a few bad jokes, this time of "Psycho." Ruining one of the better supporting characters wasn't something that ever had to be done.

At best a low third, more likely a fourth for the shitty ending. I would have thought Matt and Trey would learn a lesson from their treatment of Mr. Garrison. Seems unlikely.

Post-episode: Crack Baby Athletic Association

2011-05-29T03:22:00.002-04:00

This episode had everything going for it - both Cartman and Kyle being funny, the crack babies (though the commercial reminded too much of "Starvin' Marvin," but still hilarious) - but was completely spot on about the NCAA screwing over all of its players by not giving them anything. Hell, even the KFC gravy gag was good. And the Slash joke was good at first, when it was just a rip on him whoring himself out for money. This looked like a first tier through the second commercial break.

Then, for some reason, the Slash thing took over. So Slash isn't real - besides being a ripoff of "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000," it's just dumb. Suddenly Matt and Trey decided to do a stupid plot instead of continuing with the NCAA jabs, and pretty much ruined it.

I can't remember the last episode that manages to end this badly. Maybe "Tonsil Trouble," but that was good enough to get a B+. This is more like a low second tier. It's still the best episode so far this run.

Preview: Crack Baby Athletic Association

2011-05-25T12:21:00.003-04:00

Like "Funnybot," I've got nothing to say about this. No idea where Matt and Trey will take it, no idea if it looks good or not, etc.. The only clue I have is that it's supposed to be a Cartman/Kyle episode, which doesn't sound great.

I have low expectations for tonight.

Post-episode: T.M.I.

2011-05-25T12:12:00.003-04:00

The small penis plotline was good - over a decade ago, in "Chinpokomon," and to a lesser extent in "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants." As we've had a parody season (12) and a retcon season (14), this run appears to be about reusing old plotlines. It's been frustrating to see Matt and Trey delve further and further into "Simpsons" territory. At least the opening joke about the Terminator and Skeletor being real was good.

Honestly, the whole storyline again felt like something they made up on the spot. I figured it would be a totally different plot than what was advertised, but I didn't expect the first 10 minutes to be virtually concluded only to go into the penis subplot. Plus more Randy, whose popularity I will never get. Every one of my friends loves him. I just don't see it.

This could be anywhere from a low second tier to a high fourth tier. I'll need to watch it again, but I'll call it a mid third for right now.

Preview: T.M.I.

2011-05-18T16:59:00.001-04:00

Over half this run will be over after tonight, and it appears to be another disappointment. Which is par for the course lately, but still.

It seems as though Matt and Trey can only repeat past storylines as of late. Tonight appears to be the same. Cartman going to an anger management class? Sounds very similar to "Tsst." And, like last week, "Tsst" (like "Helen Keller! The Musical") is one of the best episodes of the series. What's the point of doing it again? And measuring penis size? Sounds like Cartman's in a gay panic again ("Cartman Sucks," "Fat Butt and Pancake Head," etc.).

No expectations for tonight. It'll probably turn out to be an entirely different episode than we're meant to think, which has been the case of late. Whether that's good or bad is debatable. But as presented this doesn't sound promising.

Post-episode: Royal Pudding

2011-05-17T02:20:00.002-04:00

I would have posted this the day of, but Blogger being down for a day or two prevented that.

The good: Rush (best joke of the season), Ugly Bob, and Scott (the dick). Loved seeing them again.

The bad: Everything else. As usual of late, one of the main storylines was a rehash of a much better earlier one. In this case, Cartman was much better as a harried director in "Helen Keller! The Musical" than Mr. Mackey was here. The actual wedding parody started well, but quickly got very weird. To say nothing of Tooth Decay, and the completely idiotic way that everything was tied together.

I'm tempted to give this an F, but I did laugh a bunch at the beginning. That only makes it a fourth tier, and another disappointing episode which could have been much better.

Preview: Royal Pudding

2011-05-11T17:31:00.001-04:00

I'm excited about tonight's episode for two reasons:

1. It's a Canadian episode. They've generally been good. And that probably means a Terrance and Phillip appearance, who have lately been among the better recurring characters on the show.

2. It's about the royal wedding. If anything needs to be satirized it's this. There should be a bevy of things to rip on, like the terrible hats, or simply the sheer inanity of the wedding in general.

This would be the first episode in a while that I actually would be excited to watch. It's got the potential for a classic episode, which has been very rare of note.

Preview/Post-episode: Funnybot

2011-05-04T12:53:00.002-04:00

I meant to write a preview for tonight, but I couldn't access the site. Which was a minor blessing in disguise, as I had no clue what to think of this episode going in. I had no expectations for either how good it was or what it would be about.

As it turned out, it wasn't terrible, but not great either. As usual, a lot of recycled stuff. Awards being bullshit? "More Crap." Funnybot itself reminded me of the manatee gags from "Cartoon Wars." And Tyler Perry? "The Boondocks" ripped on him much harder that Matt and Trey. This turned into another running gag.

Some funny stuff (Cartman offering Kyle to the Germans, a few of the Funnybot jokes, Sandy Cervix) and it wasn't offensively bad. But definitely a downgrade from last week. Mid-low third.

Post-episode: HUMANCENTiPAD

2011-05-04T12:43:00.003-04:00

Well, that was better than any episode since "201." For once, a lot of stuff was actually funny. As stupid as the cuttlefish gag was, it probably was the best. That, or Cartman getting struck by lightning at the end.

Plots could have been better, though.Three plots, and two of them weren't great. Cartman's plot probably was the weakest of the three; on one hand, I do like Cartman's mom standing up to him, but on the other, it's just not as funny when she's not a pushover. Stan's plot was decent, but the Gerald ending seemed rushed.

But it's still pretty good, and not a terrible opening to the season. Probably a low second tier.

Preview: HUMANCENTiPAD

2011-04-27T14:19:00.002-04:00

Yet another season of "South Park" begins tonight, and for the first time I'm not particularly excited about it. Maybe it's because tonight (like last year, and the previous 6 years before that) I am going to Manhattan to get tickets to the NFL Draft, and I'll have to catch tonight's episode online when I get home. But a lot of it is that the last season was the worst since 9, and since the end of season 12 only 4 first tier episodes have been made.

I have long given up hope that the show will return to its glory days. Quite simply, the show hasn't been funny. Yes, it's still better than many shows on TV. So is "The Simpsons." Each one is an utter shell of what it once was, especially "Simpsons"; it's painful to watch a new episode now and compare it to its good episodes. Not best - good. Same with "South Park" - the parallels to late-season "Simpsons" are frightening, down to the negative continuity and increased emphasis on well-done animation rather than well-done stories or jokes.

So an episode about "The Human Centipede" and the iPad. Considering that "Centipede" came out last summer, and the iPad before that, I don't know why the hell Matt and Trey are making an episode about both now. Cartman wanting a new gadget he can't have? There's already a two-part episode about that.

I have low expectations for tonight, as for the rest of this season. As always, I do hope it turns out to be good. But I've lost confidence that it will be.

Episode 1410: Insheeption

2011-04-27T03:26:00.004-04:00

Insheeption (10/20/2010)

Synopsis: Stan and Mr. Mackey go into their dreams to find out what causes their hoarding problems.

Matt and Trey used to have original ideas, both good and bad. "A Million Little Fibers" might be the worst episode of the series, but nobody could say it wasn't original. Who the hell would think of an episode about Oprah's "minge" and asshole holding a bank hostage? Or of a character that was a talking piece of poo? They were the only people in the media to point out how Michael Jackson's quest for his childhood is terrible for his children, or that Terri Schiavo probably wouldn't want to be the subject of a public battle over her life.

Which makes the plagiarism of the CollegeHumor video even worse. Matt said afterwards that the staff thought the video directly took lines from the film, and they were so busy working on the episode that they didn't bother to check whether or not this was true. This would have taken 5 minutes to look for. They still didn't do it. I realize episodes are done in a week's time. But was there not one guy on the staff that could have gone to see "Inception," or found a script online?

I have not seen the film, though I'm told it's as weird as this episode makes it out to be. Though I doubt there's any inside jokes here I'm missing.

Even without the plagiarism, this still isn't a good ep. The shepherd/sheep hoarder gag runs the way of all "South Park" running gags. Randy, again, isn't funny. The Woodsy Owl molesting gag was about the only consistently funny thing here. It's just weird, and not in a good way.

Rating: D (fourth tier)

Episode 1409: It's a Jersey Thing

2011-04-27T03:12:00.002-04:00

It's a Jersey Thing (10/13/2010)

Synopsis: The state of New Jersey is taking over all of America, and the townspeople have to stop them.

I live in New Jersey, and the guidos and guidettes really do exist. Then again, I don't go to the shore unless I absolutely have to, so I never have to encounter variants on Snooki or the Situation. The other thing to remember is that only one or two of the castmates are actually from NJ, and half of them aren't full Italian. The real NJ is nothing like what we see on the show.

It's "South Park"; I have no problem with Matt and Trey ripping on NJ. Lord knows everyone else does.

To keep with the spirit of retconning:

Sheila actually is from NJ, and technically Kyle was conceived in Newark. Right. Not a big problem, considering the family did in fact move to South Park. (Remember "Mountain Town.") I do wish Matt and Trey would have a reason for it, other than they needed a joke. But that's impossible.
Osama bin Laden gets killed. This is fine. EXCEPT HE ALREADY WAS KILLED. And it wasn't like he died offscreen there: a bomb explodes on him, and then a U.S. soldier shoots him in the head. This really pissed me off.

Like "Poor and Stupid," it's not offensively bad, just boring. It's a bit better, but not by much.

Rating: D+ (fourth tier)

Episode 1408: Poor and Stupid

2011-04-27T03:08:00.005-04:00

Poor and Stupid (10/06/2010)

Synopsis: Cartman wants to be a NASCAR driver and becomes poor and stupid to be one.

This episode should be textbook filler. It's not particularly bad, just boring. There's no reason to do a NASCAR episode now, just like there was no reason to do a wrestling episode last year. Cartman's not funny, but not offensive either. The Vagisil subplot is dumb, but not offensively dumb.

And yet it's the run opener. Go figure.

Rating: D (fourth tier)

Episode 1407: Crippled Summer

2011-04-27T02:42:00.003-04:00

Crippled Summer (04/28/2010)

Synopsis: Jimmy leads a competition at his special kid camp, and the boys stage an intervention for Towelie.

It's hard to remember now, but Towelie was supposed to be the worst character ever. Hell, Cartman even said that verbatim at the end of "Towelie," and Towelie agreed. The reason that "Towelie" worked was the sheer absurdity of having a talking towel that got high all the time used prominently, and it remains one of the best episodes even today.

And yet Matt and Trey continue to sporadically use Towelie, even though his one joke got old right after "Towelie." They've even tried to use this plotline before, in season 10, but couldn't find a way to make it work. You may remember the resulting episode as "A Million Little Fibers." Considering how popular "Intervention" around that time, I'm not surprised that they ended up reusing the storyline a few years later.

I'm also not surprised that it sucks. As usual, the running gag (this time, of the "Intervention" title cards) gets run into the ground in near-record time. Towelie is again one-joke, which is reused for the fourth time. And once again, Matt and Trey don't know or don't care about the difference between being Archie Bunker (funny) and racist (not funny); take a guess at which side Cartman is on here.

The other storyline isn't much better. The running gag also shows up here, with not much humor either. Nathan and Mimsy together ("Shut up, Mimsy!!") are decent, but the raping shark isn't.

A bad way to close the season, especially after two great episodes.

Rating: D (fourth tier)

Episodes 1405/1406: 200/201

2011-04-26T13:07:00.009-04:00

200 (04/14/2010)/201 (04/21/2010)

Synopsis: Every celebrity mocked by the show decides to sue the town, unless the townspeople can produce Muhammad for them.

I have not gotten the season 14 DVD set, but I have read that "201" remains censored on it. What the fuck. Proof that the terrorists have won. Yes, it's acceptable to show Buddha doing coke or Jesus jacking off to porn (or, as in "Cartoon Wars," Jesus and other Americans shitting all over each other and the American flag), but to even mention Muhammad isn't allowed. Or, for that matter, a tangentially related message at the end of said episode.

Cartman's message during "Cartoon Wars" has never seemed more true:

All it takes to kill a show forever is get one episode pulled. If we convince the network to pull this episode for the sake of Muslims, then the Catholics can demand a show they don't like get pulled. And then people with disabilities can demand another show get pulled.

I was going to wait to pass judgement on the episode until the uncensored version came out, but that will never happen. Then again, I doubt it would have gotten much better than it ended up being.

The best part of the arc? Seeing Mr. Hat, Pip, Mr. Hankey, and a bunch of other characters and things that Matt and Trey have long since passed by. Plus, say, Mitch Connor, the gingers, Barbra Streisand, the Super Best Friends; they actually acknowledge the show's history. And, for once, the jokes are actually funny, such as Tom Cruise's talking to Tim Burton:

By taking what Muhammad had, we would all be safe from ridicule. Like Tim Burton here. Imagine this, Tim: nobody could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since Beetlejuice. And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're that in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. A TV show could never say that!

But then again, "201" does have a major flaw. (Though not enough to stop it from being a first tier.) It retcons both the greatest cliffhanger the show has ever done, the question of Cartman's father, and the series' best episode. So Cartman's mother is, in fact, his real mother, and his father was Scott Tenorman's father, making it that he killed his own parent as well as Scott Tenorman's. Oh, and Scott Tenorman's father was a Denver Bronco. (As what, the kicker? Go watch that episode again and look for his father.)

The rest of the episode is funny enough that this doesn't have a big impact on its rating. But at the same time, this is yet another retcon, and probably the biggest yet. And the sad thing is that it won't be the biggest ever at the end of the season.

Nevertheless, this arc contains the only two first tiers of the season. And "200" is the best episode since "The Ungroundable."

Rating: A ("200") / A- ("201")

Episode 1404: You Have 0 Friends

2011-04-16T03:13:00.004-04:00

You Have 0 Friends (04/07/2010)

Synopsis: Stan tries to avoid getting sucked into the world of Facebook, and Kyle loses all his titular friends after friending a loser kid.

Even though "The Simpsons" has entered its fourth decade of producing new episodes, the characters have not aged. "Lisa's Wedding" gave the titular date as August 1, 2010 - which has now happened, and Lisa is still 8. Most animation shows are the same, and "South Park" is no exception - the boys have remained around the same age from "Cartman Gets An Anal Probe" onwards.

I have no problem with a floating timeline by itself. It's a necessary thing in an animated show that also has to comment on current events. (Though I do wish that just once, an animated show would actually age up its characters in real time. And yes, I know there's probably a few out there, but I don't want to go looking around for them right now.) As I'll talk about later this season, it's accepted as part of the show's universe.

What I do have a problem with is the revelation that the boys were born in 2001, which would make them the correct age today but implies that they weren't alive for the first few seasons. I wouldn't think much of this, except the retconning has been such a big part of this season that I doubt it's accidental. Matt and Trey have always said that their latest episodes are better than their early ones. Which ain't true at all, but that's beside the point here. I just don't think that saying the boys wouldn't have been alive for the first 5 or so seasons, which Matt and Trey don't like, isn't intentional.

As for the "Tron" parody? There's a dirty secret about "Tron": it fucking sucks. Seriously, go watch "Tron" again and see how boring and stupid it is. The only guys that like it are the fanboys that were dazzled by the revolutionary-for-the-time special effects. (I should know; I dated one.) And to top it off, there's really no reason for said parody, given that it comes around halfway in the episode and has about 5 minutes of time before resolving.

And Facebook? Facebook's been out since 2006. What's next, a 2013 episode on how stupid Twitter is?

As has been the case so far this year, there's one or two good jokes here. In this case, Chatroulette and the guys all jerking off. But that only saves it from a fourth tier.

Rating: C- (third tier)

Episode 1403: Medicinal Fried Chicken

2011-04-16T02:59:00.003-04:00

Medicinal Fried Chicken (03/31/2010)

Synopsis: Randy purposefully gives himself cancer to get medical marijuana, and Cartman starts selling KFC on the black market after the franchise is banned.

My thoughts on Randy have not changed, but for once he's actually in a good plot. (The first since "The Losing Edge," which also happens to be a dud even with a good Randy plot. Go figure.) I have friends on the west coast, and I'm told that medicinal marijuana stores are as plentiful as this episode makes them out to be. And that it's extremely easy to get the pot in California, as all one needs is a doctor's signature. Maybe I'll move out there myself. But in any case, Randy's actually funny here.

If only the B plot wasn't a return to the movie parodies. In this case, "Scarface." All the problems with movie parodies from season 12 (mainly, the predictable and tired jokes) are present. There's exactly one good joke here, the Boston Market gravy gag. The rest is just boring. And the resolution to both plots isn't good either, though the overcoat joke is sort of funny.

Like "About Last Night..." and "Dead Celebrities," one good plot and one bad plot cancel each other out.

Rating: C+ (third tier)

Episode 1402: The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

2011-04-12T14:42:00.004-04:00

The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs (03/19/2010)

Synopsis: The boys write a controversial book, which then is hailed as a controversial masterpiece and claimed to have been written by Butters.

As season 12 was the parody season, season 14 is the retcon season. This should have been expected at some point, given how little Matt and Trey think of the earlier seasons and the general lack of continuity since Mr(s). Garrison's sex changes. But it's still disheartening to experience.

Although this episode doesn't feature a strict retcon, in the sense that the continuity of the show was not actually changed, it does have a sort of retcon in that apparently "South Park" doesn't have any deeper meaning to it; it's just supposed to be funny. That's the very thing Matt and Trey devoted one of the best episode arcs to in season 10 - ripping on "Family Guy" for just being joke after joke. Hell, even as far back as "Death," they were criticizing the people that thought the show was nothing but fart jokes. And even if it's supposed to be funny, the vomit running gag is one of the worst ever in a series that recently has had many terrible running gags.

Some decent jokes: the expected rips on "The Catcher in the Rye"; Sarah Jessica Parker, though also expected; Morgan Freeman reading "The Poop That Took a Pee" on TV. Other than that, a slight improvement on the season opener. But not by much.

Rating: C (third tier)

Episode 1401: Sexual Healing

2010-12-12T23:26:00.007-05:00

Sexual Healing (03/12/2010)

Synopsis: America struggles to understand why rich men want to have sex with multiple partners, and Kyle/Butters/Kenny are diagnosed with sex addiction.

Kenny's death: dies from autoerotic asphyxiation while wearing a Batman outfit. This is the ninth time he has died since his return, and the first since "Wing" and "Best Friends Forever" that he has died in two straight episodes. Of course, this now must all be called into question given the revelation of his deaths - but that's for the Coon episodes.

It's now about two weeks before the show starts up again, which means it's time to start on the latest batch of reviews. This season was relatively odd in that I usually had work at 10 on Wednesdays, so I missed pretty much all of the second half and much of the first live.

The Tiger Woods scandal occurred about a year and a half ago, but now it seems like a lifetime since it happened; that's one of the perils of current-events episodes. Though the topic (rich guys fucking around) should be timeless, this episode isn't.

The biggest problem is the way Matt and Trey deal with the message of the episode. Or, rather, lack of a message, other than that guys will always want to have sex with everyone. The wizard alien thing at the end wasn't smart, it was just stupid. The only decent jokes were the PGA Tour video game (which, like most running gags, started well and ran into the ground) and Kenny's death, which was one of the better ones in recent memory.

Matt said at the time that they could have made a whole season out of the fallout of the scandal. If that was true, then at the very least the one episode they did make (the season premiere, to boot) should have been a hell of a lot better than it turned out. A big missed opportunity.

Rating: C- (third tier)

Post-episode: Creme Fraiche

2010-12-09T01:17:00.002-05:00

I missed this episode while live, and that included the week it was on the site. Mainly because I was dreading having to see it.

I wasn't wrong. Knowing that it was going to be a Randy episode was bad enough, but that was the least of this episode's problems. The Food Network stuff wasn't funny at all, but that also wasn't the worst part. No, that would be the gross-out sex stuff that was the entire episode's focus. Every. Fucking. Minute.

This has been a terrible season, but this was the absolute worst episode of it. A well-deserved F.

Preview: Creme Fraiche

2010-11-15T23:21:00.001-05:00

To recap what has turned into one of the worst seasons in recent memory:

"Poor and Stupid": given the controversies over the last few episodes (and, in addition, a new one about the use of "What What in the Butt"), this one doesn't seem to be that memorable. Unfortunately, that might make it the best episode this season. (D+)
"It's a Jersey Thing": the al-Qaeda stuff isn't controversial or shocking, just stupid. The minor retcons of the Broflovski's origins are OK, and there are still some laughs to be had at "Jersey Shore," but not enough to save the episode. (D+)
"Insheeption": on the surface, this would appear to be the best episode, as it's the funniest of the run. If only Matt and Trey hadn't had to resort to pure plagiarism for parts of it. Even at its worst, one of the best things that could be said about "South Park" was that it was original. They shouldn't have to resort to this. (D)
the Coon saga: the original episode wasn't good, and I don't know why it was deemed worthy of a three-parter. None of the three are even on par with the worst of "Imaginationland," and all of them suffer from that episode's biggest problems - the repeating storylines and "good" animation. (This from a show that was designed to look as shitty as possible.) (D+ for all three)

The biggest issue I have with this season as a whole, not just this run, is the constant retconning. I understand that the show uses a floating timeline, and has many fantastical elements. But there's a major difference between changing things for the better, which was in seasons 4-6, and changing things simply to do so, which is this season.

The last run had three major changes - the revelation that Matt and Trey are just making jokes ("The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs"), which contradicts the whole point of "Cartoon Wars"; Stan's birthdate being in the 2000s ("You Have 0 Friends"), meaning that he and the boys weren't alive for half of the show; and Cartman being Scott Tenorman's half-brother ("201"), which retcons the original cliffhanger of the show. This season? Kenny actually has superpowers, and cannot literally die. This raises far too many questions to be discussed right now, but the biggest one: what the hell happened to him between "Kenny Dies" and "Red Sleigh Down"? If he can't die, and his mother gives birth to him every time he dies, how did he remain dead for a whole season?

Tonight's episode appears to be a Randy one, and I'm not at all surprised that it is, given that he hasn't really been the focus of an episode in this run. I did like his half of "Medicinal Fried Chicken," but the usual caveats with a Randy episode still apply. And given that the episode appears to rip on the Food Network and the Shake Weight, I don't have any confidence that it will be good.

Post-episode: Coon vs. Coon & Friends

2010-11-15T12:12:00.002-05:00

This whole multipart episode felt a lot like "Pandemic." The weird animations; the recaps at the beginning of the last episodes; the general fantastic story, which will be reset at the end; and, in particular, focusing on a previously underused character- in this case, Bradley, who also now has superpowers. Considering he's never been heavily used in a story before, I don't see why he was given an episode.

As usual, some good jokes (if only Justin Bieber and Whole Foods would actually disappear) and a bunch of bad running gags (the LeBron jokes, the cute kitten stuff, Cartman misunderstanding everything). And some previously unsaid stuff, in this case Bradley's backstory. That, and the throwaway gag at the end of "Cartman Joins NAMBLA" actually has a purpose, as that's how Kenny apparently comes back to life.

Once again, third/fourth tier cusp, though honestly this was the best of the three. But that's not saying much.

Preview: Coon vs. Coon and Friends

2010-11-10T09:36:00.002-05:00

There have only been two other three-part episodes of the show: "Cat Orgy"/"Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub"/"Jewbilee", which had two good episodes and one bad one (the last); and the "Imaginationland" trilogy, which also had two very good episodes and one bad one (the last). You can see a pattern where the last episode generally is the weakest, essentially because there's nothing left to do with it.

The major difference between them and tonight's episode? The first two episodes of this three-parter sucked. A combination of work, school, and a computer in the shop has left me unable to update this blog as much as I would like, but I've found that I'm not missing much.

I'm interested to see what Matt and Trey do tonight, if only to see what retcons they do here. Otherwise, it's going to be just more of the same.

Post-episode: Mysterion Rises

2010-11-10T09:33:00.002-05:00

Let's see... Kenny is Mysterion, and the reason he comes back to life every time he dies is that he's actually a superhero who can't die. This raises far more questions than it answers, but that's a topic for another day.

The rest of the episode? More of the same. Same jokes, same "good" animation, same boatload of problems with it. Fifth straight episode on the third/fourth cusp.

Preview: Mysterion Rises

2010-11-03T11:34:00.002-04:00

So, Mysterion's identity will be revealed tonight. Or probably not, as Matt and Trey will likely again do some intentional fuck-you ending. The better question is, who cares? Why the Coon was deemed worthy of a sequel, yet alone a multi-part episode, is baffling.

I have been working on Wednesday nights, so I haven't been able to see the episodes live. Not that it matters much, with the show being as bad as it is as of late. When I do see it, I'll again have no expectations. If it's not the worst multi-part episode ever (with that dubious honor going to "Pandemic" and "Pandemic 2: The Startling") I'll be happy.

Post-episode: The Coon 2: Hindsight

2010-11-03T11:11:00.003-04:00

If there's a theme from this episode, it's bad running gags. Let's see: the BP apology ads weren't good to begin with, and then they're repeated twice. The Coon and Friends stuff wasn't funny, just stupid, and the "Clockwork Orange" gag wasn't particularly good either. And the worst part? Captain Hindsight, which was both not funny and utterly stupid - if this is a parody of something, it's Matt and Trey's worst one ever.

Same problems as last week: a few funny jokes (the Earth getting fucked by DP was great, as well as the whale and Tom Cruise on the moon) but on the whole bad. Yet another fourth tier cusp, and even worse is the fact that this is a two-parter.

Preview: The Coon 2: Hindsight

2010-10-27T00:15:00.002-04:00

We finally have a sequel episode, not just a two-part episode. (Unless the Cartman's Mom episodes are counted, but I wouldn't.) If only it wasn't to "The Coon," a bad season 13 episode.

It's been an unbelievably frustrating season so far, not just a run. There hasn't been a really bad episode yet, but instead a ton of third tiers. If season 9 was the worst season by far, this is probably the second worst season by far. At least season 3, the old second worst season, gave us good episodes "Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus," "The Brown Noise," and "Chinpokomon." This season just has "200" and "201," and had there not been a milestone (200 episodes) we wouldn't have seen either episode.

I have low expectations for tonight. I hated the first episode, so I probably won't like this one either.

Post-episode: Insheeption

2010-10-26T23:49:00.004-04:00

One of the advantages of not getting to an episode right away (as with this one, since I had work) is finding out about a controversial thing in said episode.

In this case, it would be collegehumor's own video ripping on "Inception," which Matt and Trey took virtually word-for-word and stuck in the middle of this episode. Apparently the two didn't have a copy of the film, so they just saw the video and thought it used lines from the film itself. They were wrong. While it didn't turn out to be as big a controversy as imagined, it's a great example of lazy writing, which has been creeping up a lot as of late.

I probably would have liked this episode more had I seen it live, but seeing the parody basically ruined the episode for me. A few funny jokes (loved the Woodsy Owl stuff), and it wasn't offensively bad, but not good either. As has been the case for this run, another third/fourth tier cusp.

Preview: Insheeption

2010-10-20T12:09:00.001-04:00

Tonight's episode looks to be a parody of "Inception." I have not seen "Inception." In fact, before last weekend I had not been to a theater in about a year and a half.

(That movie? "Jackass 3-D." I'll get a full review up when it comes out on DVD, but suffice it to say that it's nearly as good as the first movie. I was pleasantly surprised at that.)

I have medium expectations for tonight, if they stick to the "Make Love, Not Warcraft" mold. That is, give enough inside jokes to the fans while making the story funny enough so that non-fans can watch also.

Post-episode: It's a Jersey Thing

2010-10-13T22:52:00.004-04:00

Well, they just went for the easy stuff. Not good at all. The al-Qaeda stuff felt like they're trying for more controversy with the Muslims, but it's not controversial at all: just not good.

And apparently Sheila is actually from New Jersey. It's not a terrible retcon when thought about, as there are a ton of Jews in this state. But it's obviously just done to allow Kyle to get ripped on by Cartman (again) and to make Cartman cry (again) and to have Kyle save the day with Cartman saving face (for the millionth time).

Some decent stuff here, like bin Laden coming back (though for far too short) and some of the Jersey stuff. Though that got old quickly. Like the last episode, third/fourth tier.

Preview: It's a Jersey Thing

2010-10-13T14:22:00.004-04:00

As Matt and Trey are about to rip my home state a new one tonight, I'd just like to say some stuff about "Jersey Shore." Yes, these people really do exist; I've been enough times to the shore to see it. Yes, they're as bad (and worse at times) as any Pauly D or The Situation or Snooki. No, most of them aren't from New Jersey, and not all of them are Italian. (Only Sammi is actually from NJ, and she, Snooki, and Ronnie aren't Italian.)

I'm not a fan of the show by any means, though that's not because I'm against the cast fulfilling every stereotype of Jerseyites. I don't like it because it's a terrible show. "The Sopranos" did the same thing to Italians, but nobody will ever care because (for a time) it was the greatest show on TV. "Jersey Shore" isn't.

This has the potential to be a classic episode, which we haven't seen in a while. (Aside from "200.") Why this wasn't the opening episode instead of last week's filler, I don't know. Then again, the show has been very hit-or-miss as of late.

I have high expectations for tonight, if they actually go beyond the easy jokes and try to say something.

Post-episode: Poor and Stupid

2010-10-13T01:47:00.002-04:00

As it turned out, I was away from a computer until tonight. Not that it particularly mattered, as this episode turned out to be nothing more than filler.

Basically a cross between "W.T.F." - NASCAR in this case, with all the stereotypes in full force (all racing fans are stupid, etc.) - and "Fishsticks" - Kenny (finally getting a decent role) being pissed off at something stupid Cartman does to his favorite pastime. Both are fourth tier episodes, with "Fishsticks" being an F. And some dumb Vagisil (???) jokes.

I have no clue why this ended up being the season premiere. It wasn't terrible by all means, but it wasn't good either, and was mostly boring. Third/fourth tier cusp.

Preview: Poor and Stupid

2010-10-06T16:00:00.003-04:00

I've been going through a number of problems lately, and haven't found the time to update this blog in a while. I'm going to hold off on reviewing the first half of season 14 for a bit, until after this half ends.

But with tonight's episode, I'm not sure I should even bother. I might not even watch it live, as the Yankees-Twins ALDS game will conflict. This episode looks like pure filler. NASCAR??? Where in the hell did this idea come from? And unless it's a bait-and-switch to talk about something else - maybe the BP disaster, given the subject of cars - I have no idea where they can go. I've talked many times in the past about Cartman and Butters together, and they haven't been good together in a long time. And yet here they are again.

I have no expectations for tonight. If it doesn't suck, I'll be happy. But given that the first half was bad except for the "200"/"201" two-parter, I'm not too confident.

Episode rating list

2010-05-14T12:10:00.002-04:00

Another revision to my ratings list, this time up to season 13. The top hasn't changed at all, but the bottom looks much different.

TOP TEN

1. Scott Tenorman Must Die (501) – A+
2. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo (110) - A+
3. The Return of Chef (1001) – A+
4. Good Times with Weapons (801) – A+
5. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (101) – A+
6. Towelie (508) – A+
7. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (613) – A+
8. Cartman Joins NAMBLA (406) – A+
9. Fat Butt and Pancake Head (705) – A+
10. Make Love, Not Warcraft (1008) – A+

NEXT TEN

11. The Jeffersons (807) – A+
12. AWESOM-O (802) – A+
13. Kenny Dies (513) – A+
14. Casa Bonita (711) – A+
15. Red Sleigh Down (617) – A+
16. Child Abduction Is Not Funny (611) – A+
17. Cripple Fight! (503) - A
18. Trapped in the Closet (912) - A
19. Chickenlover (203) – A
20. Tsst (1007) - A

FIRST TIER

21. Breast Cancer Show Ever (1209) - A
22. Starvin’ Marvin (109) – A
23. Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants (509) - A
24. Helen Keller! The Musical (414) – A
25. It Hits the Fan (502) – A
26. Proper Condom Use (507) - A
27. A Very Crappy Christmas (417) - A
28. Woodland Critter Christmas (814) - A
29. It’s Christmas in Canada (715) - A
30. Simpsons Already Did It (607) - A
31. Super Best Friends (504) – A
32. Cartoon Wars Part I (1003) - A
33. Cartoon Wars Part II (1004) - A
34. The Passion of the Jew (804) - A
35. The New Terrance and Philip Movie Trailer (604) - A
36. Cherokee Hair Tampons (407) - A
37. The Biggest Douche in the Universe (615) - A
38. Hell on Earth 2006 (1011) - A
39. Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104) – A
40. Cancelled (704) - A
41. The Ungroundable (1214) - A
42. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Jesus (316) – A
43. Asspen (603) - A
44. Imaginationland (1110) - A
45. Mecha-Streisand (112) – A
46. Cartman Sucks (1102) - A
47. Chef Aid (214) – A-
48. Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery (312) – A-
49. Cartman’s Mom Is a Dirty Slut (113) – A-
50. Weight Gain 4000 (102) – A-
51. All About the Mormons? (712) – A-
52. Free Willzyx (913) – A-
53. Butters’ Very Own Episode (514) – A-
54. The List (1114) – A-
55. Up the Down Steroid (803) – A-
56. Something You Can Do with Your Finger (409) – A-
57. Elementary School Musical (1213) – A-
58. Fantastic Easter Special (1105) – A-
59. Terrance and Philip: Behind the Blow (505) – A-
60. The Entity (511) – A-
61. Chinpokomon (310) – A-
62. Imaginationland Episode II (1111) – A-
63. Spookyfish (215) – A-
64. Goobacks (806) – A-
65. World Wide Recorder Concert (The Brown Noise) (317) – A-
66. Butters’ Bottom Bitch (1309) – A-
67. Eat, Pray, Queef (1304) – A-
68. The Snuke (1104) – A-
69. Canada on Strike (1204) – A-

SECOND TIER

70. Cartmanland (506) – B+
71. An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig (105) – B+
72. South Park Is Gay! (708) – B+
73. Red Hot Catholic Love (608) – B+
74. Cartman’s Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut (202) – B+
75. 4th Grade (412) – B+
76. Quest for Ratings (811) – B+
77. Butt Out (713) – B+
78. Tonsil Trouble (1201) – B+
79. Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls (209) – B+
80. City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks) (207) – B+
81. Pinkeye (107) – B+
82. Best Friends Forever (904) – B+
83. Clubhouses (212) – B+
84. Bebe’s Boobs Destroy Society (610) – B+
85. Do the Handicapped Go to Hell? (410) – B+
86. Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics (315) – B+
87. Timmy 2000 (404) – B+
88. Cat Orgy (307) – B+
89. The Ring (1301) – B+
90. Jakovasaurs (305) - B
91. Christian Rock Hard (709) - B
92. Ike’s Wee Wee (204) – B
93. The Death Camp of Tolerance (614) - B
94. Freak Strike (601) - B
95. Jared Has Aides (602) - B
96. Here Comes the Neighborhood (512) - B
97. Quintuplets 2000 (403) - B
98. Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (308) - B
99. Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods (211) – B
100. You Got Fucked in the Ass (805) - B
101. Fatbeard (1307) - B
102. Super Fun Time (1207) - B
103. Pre-School (810) - B
104. Gnomes (217) – B-
105. Summer Sucks (208) – B-
106. Professor Chaos (606) – B-
107. Cartman’s Incredible Gift (813) – B-
108. Chef Goes Nanners (408) –B-
109. Starvin’ Marvin in Space (311) – B-
110. Free Hat (609) – B-
111. Probably (411) – B-
112. Fat Camp (415) – B-

THIRD TIER

113. How to Eat with Your Butt (510) – C+
114. Major Boobage (1203) – C+
115. Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson! (216) – C+
116. My Future Self ‘n Me (616) – C+
117. Death (106) – C+
118. Terrance and Philip in: Not Without My Anus (201) – C+
119. Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime 2000 (401) – C+
120. Prehistoric Ice Man (218) – C+
121. Rainforest Schmainforest (301) – C+
122. About Last Night… (1212) – C+
123. I’m a Little Bit Country (701) – C+
124. Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (1010) – C+
125. The Losing Edge (905) - C
126. Volcano (103) – C
127. Imaginationland Episode III (1112) - C
128. Conjoined Fetus Lady (205) - C
129. The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka (206) – C
130. Fun with Veal (605) - C
131. Dead Celebrities (1308) - C
132. Go God Go (1012) – C
133. Go God Go XII (1013) - C
134. Chickenpox (210) – C
135. Jewbilee (309) – C
136. Trapper Keeper (413) - C
137. Hooked on Monkey Phonics (313) – C
138. A Ladder to Heaven (612) - C
139. The Succubus (303) – C
140. Douche and Turd (808) – C-
141. Raisins (714) – C-
142. Sexual Harassment Panda (306) – C-
143. The Wacky Molestation Adventure (416) – C-
144. Le Petit Tourette (1108) – C-
145. ManBearPig (1006) – C-
146. Mystery of the Urinal Deuce (1009) – C-
147. With Apologies to Jesse Jackson (1101) – C-
148. Red Man’s Greed (707) – C-
149. Tom’s Rhinoplasty (109) – C-
150. Smug Alert! (1002) – C-

FOURTH TIER

151. Spontaneous Combustion (302) – D+
152. Krazy Kripples (702) – D+
153. The Coon (1302) – D+
154. The China Probrem (1208) – D+
155. The F Word (1312) – D+
156. Ginger Kids (911) – D+
157. Lice Capades (1103) – D+
158. W.T.F. (1310) – D+
159. Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow (908) – D+
160. Dances with Smurfs (1313) – D+
161. Toilet Paper (703) – D+
162. The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000 (402) - D
163. Over Logging (1206) - D
164. Die Hippie, Die (902) - D
165. Damien (108) – D
166. The Death of Eric Cartman (906) - D
167. Pee (1314) - D
168. Grey Dawn (710) - D
169. The Red Badge of Gayness (314) - D
170. Follow That Egg! (910) - D
171. Marjorine (909) - D
172. Night of the Living Homeless (1107) - D
173. Bloody Mary (914) - D
174. Lil’ Crime Stoppers (706) - D
175. Cow Days (213) – D
176. Pandemic (1210) - D
177. Eek, a Penis! (1205) - D
178. Pinewood Derby (1306) - D
179. Wing (903) – D-
180. Erection Day (907) – D-
181. Tweek vs. Craig (304) – D-
182. Guitar Queer-o (1113) – D-
183. Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes (809) – D-
184. Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (812) - D-
185. Pandemic 2: The Startling (1211) – D-

BOTTOM TEN

186. D-Yikes! (1106) – D-
187. Britney’s New Look (1202) – D-
188. Pip (405) – D-
189. Whale Whores (1311) - F
190. Margaritaville (1303) – F
191. Fishsticks (1305) - F
192. Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina (901) – F
193. More Crap (1109) - F
194. Stanley’s Cup (1014) - F
195. A Million Little Fibers (1005) - F

Post-episode: Crippled Summer

2010-04-29T00:36:00.005-04:00

Just as I suspected, this sucked. The two completely disparate plots of the aforementioned camp showdown and a parody of "Intervention" with Towelie - the latter, by the way, was the original plan for "A Million Little Fibers," and I can now see why it was written out - didn't mesh in any way, and Matt and Trey didn't even try to combine the two.

The campers being parodied as cartoon characters (Elmer Fudd, Porky, etc.) were funny at times, as was the ending gag referencing Restorestephenbaldwin.org. (Just go there.) But Nathan and Mimsy were terrible from the beginning, and the only decent part was the shark fucking Nathan. And they had to repeat it at the end. Towelie? He was good as a one-off character. He's intentionally stupid, and his two episodes have proven that.

It's taken the whole run, but there's now a fourth tier. Just like last season's ending episode. And with that, the show's long slide into mediocrity, dotted by a few decent/good episodes, continues.

Preview: Crippled Summer

2010-04-28T14:54:00.003-04:00

Recapping this run:

"Sexual Healing" - like "Britney's New Look," the relative lateness of an episode about Tiger Woods (happened last Thanksgiving) isn't good for a show that prides itself on being the first to comment on anything. The very stupid ending and unwillingness to say anything new about the whole scandal aren't good either. Kenny's death is good, but that's about the extent of the humor. Not completely terrible, but bad nonetheless. (C-)
"The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" - so, Matt and Trey think that the show is just about making jokes. If only that didn't contradict what they've been saying from the very beginning of the show, starting with "Death." Hell, later this season they'll go away from this. And the jokes here aren't very funny either, especially the interminable vomiting running gag. (C)
"Medicinal Fried Chicken" - one good plot: Randy's (for once), which does show how much people are willing to do to get free pot. Me included. One bad plot: Cartman's, a by-the-numbers parody of "Scarface," which I thought Matt and Trey had stopped doing. Cancel them out. (C+)
"You Have 0 Friends" - a Facebook episode in 2010, years after it became popular? Everything that they say has been already. The "Tron" parody's not bad, and the Chatroulette jabs are funny, as well as further proof that Cartman's gay. But that's it. (C-)
"200"/"201" - two episodes dedicated to the hardcore fans, with all of their inside jokes and references. Very good stuff, and very funny. Of the two, "200" is better, mostly because Comedy Central didn't censor the shit out of it. Until we see the uncensored version of "201," which I don't think will ever happen. (A/A-)

This has not been a good run, but that's not particularly important right now. What is important is the precedent that Comedy Central has set by censoring the show.

In "Cartoon Wars," Cartman says that if he gets FOX to pull the episode of "Family Guy," that will be the end of the show because then more groups will pressure FOX to pull similar episodes. That's pretty much what has just happened. Who's to say now that they can't do an episode about, say, Catholics or Scientology, for fear of reprisal? A Canadian newspaper has just named this as the worst moment in the history of American TV, and they're not totally wrong.

I will not be surprised if Matt and Trey do not renew their contract when it's up next year. It all depends on what Comedy Central does, but given their history I'm not confident that anything good will come of this. Maybe it is time for the two of them to hang it up, given both the recent quality of the show and their new musical, but it would be a real shame for "South Park" to end like this.

It would seem as if they've retreated into a familiar topic for tonight's episode. It's supposed to be about Timmy and Jimmy competing in a handicapped event. Sound familiar?

I'm going into tonight with low expectations. If this doesn't suck, I'll be happy. By that I mean a C- or better, but then again that's what the show has been like this run with two notable exceptions.

Post-episode: 201

2010-04-23T00:52:00.002-04:00

Normally, I like "South Park" being somewhat censored. That's the way it was at first, and it made the movie a lot better to hear curses that weren't in the show. Matt and Trey even commented at one point that if they could actually do anything, the show wouldn't be as funny, because a lot of what makes the show so good is pushing the envelope. I tend to agree.

Except for this episode. Now, there's so much I can say about the previous two episodes, and what they mean for the future of the show. But that will take a lot of time, so I'm going to save it for the recap post on Wednesday.

On the whole, this was another very good episode. Basically the same as "200," and that was very good also. Loved seeing Pip and Mr. Hankey again, even if only for a second. And the revelation that Scott Tenorman is actually Cartman's half-brother, and thus Cartman killed his own father? Mixed feelings, mostly because it undoes two of the series' greatest moments, but in execution at least it was good.

We need to see what exactly was censored, and until then this episode gets an incomplete. If we never do, this is an A-.

Preview: 201

2010-04-21T12:10:00.002-04:00

The last episode was the first true classic in a long time, so I have no reason to believe this will be any different. It should be great. And I can't watch it live.

For the seventh straight year, I will be attending the NFL Draft in New York. This year the first round is being held on a Thursday, rather than Saturday. In order to get tickets, I have to wait on line the night before. Thus, I will be unable to watch this episode live. When I catch it online after I get back, I'll post a review.

When I watch it, I will have high expectations. Even if this turns out to be another Terrance and Phillip episode, I should be happy.

Post-episode: 200

2010-04-15T00:41:00.002-04:00

Finally, a really great episode. Everything that could go right here, did. The throwbacks to old episodes, though from episodes both good (Jennifer Lopez, Mecha-Streisand) to bad (the gingers), all went together well. The main plot of Muhammad was very good as well, thanks to the reuse of the Super Best Friends and the fact that Muhammad still can't be shown on TV.

But the real strength here was the willingness to keep offending everyone. Tim Burton; Rob Reiner again; Tom Cruise and the fudge packer jokes; and, most important of all, Buddha snorting coke, which was the best moment of the last season, and the one before it.

Definitely an A, and maybe an A+. I'm really excited for what they'll do with it. Even if, as I suspect, we'll get another Terrance and Phillip episode instead.

Preview: 200

2010-04-14T11:57:00.003-04:00

It's taken another seven years, but "South Park" has now reached its 200th episode. For such an accomplishment, this is going to be more of a commentary on the state of the show than a preview.

100 episodes ago, the show was a lot different. We had just gone an entire season without Kenny, but gotten him back in the season 6 finale. Butters had just been introduced as the fourth boy, then quickly dropped in favor of Tweek, who was then replaced by Kenny's soul inside Cartman. For a show that generally had a set continuity, these were some radical times. And yet, most of the series' best episodes came around this time, like "Child Abduction Is Not Funny" and "The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers."

The show has been basically stable since season seven, and not as good. The biggest change has been the death of Chef, but he hadn't been used as much as in earlier seasons. I guess Matt and Trey were able to coast for a while, even up to season 10, but since its second run "South Park" has been an utter shell of what it once was. "Team America" wreaking havoc on season 8 didn't help.

Lately it hasn't even been fun to watch. I can remember the times when I used to lie awake at night thinking of how good the next episode would be. Those times are long gone. I haven't given an episode higher than an A- since the end of season 12. That was 2 years ago. Season 12 did look like a terrible season before coming back with three first tier episodes in its second run, including "Elementary School Musical" and "The Ungroundable" to end it. I thought that Matt and Trey had righted the ship. Wrong.

Now episodes seem instantly dated. For a show that prides itself on being the first to comment on something, this is a major problem. But, at least this season, there are no signs of correction; the previous two episodes could have been made 3-4 years ago and would have been more current. Matt and Trey seem to have no concept of continuity, like having Stan's birthdate be 5 years after the show started, or retconning the very point of "Cartoon Wars" in "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs." "South Park" has never been simply about jokes, as the boys claim in the latter; it has always had some underlying purpose, as Cartman says in the former.

But for tonight's episode, this doesn't matter. It looks like a celebration of all the celebrities that Matt and Trey have mocked, and that's a shitload of them. When I first started this blog, I was going to keep a counter on all the celebrities mentioned. That didn't happen, but it just shows that they've been doing it ever since the show started. This should be a very good episode tonight.

I'm going into tonight with very high expectations. I haven't been excited for an episode like this in a long time. Hopefully this will be a permanent thing.

Post-episode: You Have 0 Friends

2010-04-08T01:21:00.004-04:00

I really wanted to like this episode. For a bit, I did. If tonight's episode didn't prove Cartman is gay, than nothing ever will. Looking over thousands of guys jerking off was no big deal to him. It was easily the best moment this season.

But in the end, I didn't. I guess it's different watching the show from its inception, but I remember when this type of episode would have been done at the start of Facebook's popularity. Yes, the Farmville stuff is current, and funny at times, but the basic premise of the episode could have been done before I started going to college; I graduate this year. And the parodies of "Tron" and "Mad Money" was exactly as I thought they would be: as usual, just a straight ripoff. "Mad Money," in particular, really bordered on manatee gag territory, if not being one itself.

Preview: You Have 0 Friends

2010-04-07T19:02:00.003-04:00

An episode about Facebook and Tron? Every nerd in America should love this episode. It should either be a complete train wreck or a classic. I don't really have anything else to say this week, but I should for next week's episode, the 200th.

I am excited to see what Matt and Trey will do, but I'm not confident that this will be good. I have neither low nor high expectations for tonight.

Post-episode: Medicinal Fried Chicken

2010-04-01T04:22:00.003-04:00

For once, Randy's plot wasn't the stupider one. The cancer thing wasn't that bad, especially the guys hopping on their balls - unlike the vomiting plot from last week, this stayed sort of fresh, though that's relative. The best part was probably the entire pot subplot, with the entirely true message that people will do anything to get marijuana. Honestly, legalizing it would do much more good than today. This, on its own, would be a solid episode.

But it's not. Matt and Trey have now returned to the lazy film parodies of a season or two ago, this time of "Scarface." The KFC thing was generally stupid, thanks to the note-for-note (and oddly rushed) parody. This, along with Cartman getting off scot-free again and the groan-inducing topical Catholic priest running gag, illustrates the worst of the show.

This is probably a high third tier, maybe low second. But it's still the best episode so far this season, which doesn't bode well for future episodes.

Preview: Medicinal Fried Chicken

2010-03-31T23:21:00.003-04:00

Technically, this is no longer a future episode now. It says a lot about how fucking bad the show has been lately that I have simply forgotten about it being on. If this episode is a dud it will have been a full run without a good episode.

When I watch it later I'll have medium expectations. The last time that KFC was used was one of the greatest episodes ever, and the time before that was the best joke from a generally shitty episode. But Randy is also supposed to be in this. Last week I was wrong; I don't think I'll be this time.

Post-episode: The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

2010-03-25T00:39:00.002-04:00

So Matt and Trey hate "The Catcher in the Rye" because the author's just trying to be offensive, and in today's world it's not. Fair point. If only their own episode didn't fall into the same trap.

The vomiting running gag literally took about half of the episode. As usual, it was OK at first and quickly beaten into the ground, with the low point coming on the Today show. The other half of the episode was better, but not by much; Sarah Jessica Parker and the Kardashians aren't exactly hard targets, and the boys' plot is basically Jimmy's from "Fishsticks."

This could go anywhere from a high second tier to a mid fourth. It's a rare episode that I can't pin down a rating immediately.

Preview: The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

2010-03-24T17:59:00.002-04:00

Last week's episode, while topical in terms of television, wasn't in real life - the Tiger Woods scandal broke after Thanksgiving, about a week after season 13 ended. It didn't have the usual current-event episode advantage to it, which hurt it in the end.

If this episode is to feature "The Catcher in the Rye," the same problems will come up. J.D. Salinger's death, the probable reason for featuring the book, was almost two months ago. That's almost an eternity for "South Park." Plus, we've already seen the usual debate over the book's merits, like what happened after Michael Jackson died. And we're being treated to easily the dumbest title ever on the show.

I'm going into tonight with low expectations. This could be good, but I'm not counting on it. The announced controversy over the book would be one of many moral panics over the years that the town's gone through, and the boys figured this stuff out halfway through the series' run. And if Wikipedia is right, Randy will have a plot.

Post-episode: Sexual Healing

2010-03-18T02:45:00.003-04:00

Some funny parts, but on the whole stupid. Kenny's death (second time in a row, and the first to have him die twice in a row since season 9) was good, as was Butters' thing for a while.

But on the whole, this seems unoriginal and dumb. The chimp thing is basically taken from "Pee," the money subplot is ripped from "Tonsil Trouble," and the sex addict thing seems very similar to many older episodes, like "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" and "Cartman Sucks." Hell, even the movie. And while the message was OK (that men with lots of money will probably fuck around, which is true) the part about the wizard alien is on the level of the Japanese from "Whale Whores."

The Tiger Woods golf running gag that opened each act typifies this episode. The first time, it's legitimately funny. The second time, it's not as good but still has some humor. The third time is a wall banger. Third tier.

Preview: Sexual Healing

2010-03-17T19:54:00.001-04:00

Another year, another season to do. We're just 5 episodes away from the 200th, if that means anything. Probably that the Joozians' prediction of how stale the show would get has come true.

Season 13 rivals season 9 as the worst season ever, mostly for its 3 Fs. Going by sheer low points, it is the worst ever, and by high points it's also worse: 9, for all its faults, gave us "Trapped in the Closet," while 13's best episode was either "Butters' Bottom Bitch" or "Eat, Pray, Queef." Neither episode rates better than an A-, while "Closet" is one of the greatest episodes of all time.

This season doesn't have to do much to be an improvement, but I don't know if tonight's episode will be of any help. What can Matt and Trey say about Tiger Woods that hasn't already been? That he shouldn't have gotten married? Actually, that hasn't been particularly touched on. Most of the media and public are anti-Tiger for cheating on his wife, when maybe they should be considering that marriage and monogamy are outdated in today's world. But will they say that? I don't know.

I'm going into tonight with medium expectations. It's getting harder and harder to feel excited for a show that has continually been a letdown for a few years now. Hopefully Matt and Trey can finally get a few good episodes in a row done, starting with tonight.

Episode 1314: Pee

2010-03-17T19:38:00.002-04:00

Pee (11/18/2009)

Synopsis: The boys are at a water park when it is engulfed by urine.

Kenny's death: drowns in said urine. This is his eighth death since returning.

13 years ago, Matt and Trey responded to criticisms that "South Park" was nothing but toilet humor by making a show-within-a-show about the topic. Now, they actually did make a show about nothing but toilet humor. If ever there's evidence that the show's quality is dropping, it's here.

Pretty much everything that can go wrong does. The pee main plot was used 12 years ago, in "Summer Sucks." It's much worse here, and the park owner's just annoying. Cartman's at his worst here, not merely racist but also aggressively unfunny, and Kyle's just a little bitch Jew. Randy's plot exists only to have guys pee on him, which apparently passes for funny.

Yet another terrible episode in a row, making it 5 fourth tiers to close out season 13.

Rating: D (fourth tier)

Episode 1313: Dances with Smurfs

2010-03-17T18:53:00.009-04:00

Dances with Smurfs (11/11/2009)

Synopsis: Cartman gets his own TV show and starts heavily criticizing Wendy and the school government.

Practically every review of this episode goes, "I hate Glenn Beck, so I like this episode." Not specifically, but that's what it boils down to. I hate Glenn Beck, and Fox News in general. Most people I know do also. That doesn't mean I like this episode at all.

"South Park" airs on a network with three popular shows, and the other two ("The Daily Show," "The Colbert Report") do this stuff every night. And much better. Having Cartman do a warmed-over parody of Glenn Beck is much less funny when Jon Stewart will criticize him in an hour and Stephen Colbert directly parody him (and Bill O'Reilly, and other right-wing blowhards) in 90 minutes. There's nothing here we don't already know, including the parody of the Tea Parties - Butters is very bad here, and he had been one of the better characters for a while - and Sarah Palin.

The Smurfs thing's not as bad, but quickly gets old, and is only here to parody "Avatar." This could have been in another episode, and may have been better.

The episode does start off well, with the school shooting subplot. It is still shocking, well over a decade after Columbine, to see school shootings. But it's all downhill from there.

Rating: D+ (fourth tier)

Episode 1312: The F Word

2010-03-15T18:17:00.003-04:00

The F Word (11/04/2009)

Synopsis: The boys try to get the word "fag" to be officially changed, to refer instead to someone who rides a Harley.

Basically a retread of "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson," only with "fag" replacing "nigger." It's not as funny, and "Jesse Jackson" wasn't particularly funny either.

Any hope of this being good is torpedoed by two things. First, the Harley riders are fucking annoying as fuck. It's intentional, but unlike, say, "Jackovasaurs," they aren't so annoying they're funny. They're just dumb.

And the thesis that "fag" doesn't mean "gay"? It's an interesting topic, but done poorly. Although it's not specifically a gay thing anymore, "fag" still remains a gay insult. Just because a bunch of noobs playing Halo call each other fags online doesn't mean that it can't be used in its original meaning.

It is the better part of the episode, but not by much. And the Harley thing cancels anything out.

Rating: D+ (fourth tier)

Episode 1311: Whale Whores

2010-03-15T18:00:00.003-04:00

Whale Whores (10/28/2009)

Synopsis: Stan tries to stop the Japanese from killing dolphins and whales.

I can't say this better than TV Tropes did:

[...] In a scene from the most recent episode ("Whale Whores"), the in-universe Larry King breaks character and diverts attention from the scene just to talk about how much he (that is, Matt and Trey) hates the host of Whale Wars. A previous episode from the current run had a scene that made fun of "Ghost Hunters" by repeating the same joke over and over again, that did not contribute anything to the plot of the episode and was basically a throwaway gag for something like five whole minutes. In other words, South Park's instances of author filibuster have not only become more jarring and (even) less subtle, but have become increasingly petty rants about increasingly insignificant topics.

That covers both this episode and "Dead Celebrities," which suffers from the same problem.

It gets much worse. Yes, the episode is terrible even before the third act. But said act, when Stan goes to Japan, defies all explanation. Six words: "FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU, WHALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ugh.

Normally if there's one good joke in an episode, I don't give it an F. That here would be Cartman's version of "Poker Face." But this time, the joke only makes it the best F ever.

Rating: F (fourth tier)

Episode 1310: W.T.F.

2010-03-15T17:33:00.002-04:00

W.T.F. (10/21/2009)

Synopsis: The boys start their own professional wrestling promotion, to the ire of the school's wrestling coach.

Kenny's death: blown up by a rocket, his seventh death since returning.

Like most kids my age, I was a big fan of the WWF. For about two years. I had mostly stopped watching by 2001, but the point when I basically quit was at Wrestlemania 17. The show was probably the best Wrestlemania overall, but it signaled the end of an era - Steve Austin actually turned heel and aligned himself with Mr. McMahon. Seeing the one wrestler that would never help Vince McMahon actually do it was the end for me. And yes, I knew wrestling was fake then; however, I knew that it would never recover. It hasn't.

The biggest problem with this episode? Most of what I'm remembering occurred TWO DECADES AGO. (Technically in the 1990s, but that was two decades ago. It's weird being in the 2010s.) Wrestling hasn't been very popular for close to a decade. Hell, the seeds of pro wrestling's comeback were planted a year or two before "South Park" even existed. There is no reason to make a wrestling episode now.

That's not the only problem here. The three main jokes/running gags in this episode:

Real wrestling is gay. Yes, it is. There's a very good reason why the earliest gay pornos were naked wrestling films, to get around codes. But it's not a funny or original joke.
Pro wrestling isn't like real wrestling. Also true. But it's a hell of a lot more than acting, which is all the boys do. I'll get into more detail with the last joke, which is...
Wrestling fans are stupid. No, they're not. No true pro wrestling fan actually believes that wrestling is real, which the rednecks here do. And the rednecks should actually hate the storyline aspect, as did most of the redneck fans of the WCW. (Yes, for some reason the mostly-homophobic crowds loved the gayest part.) This is easily the most infuriating running gag of all.

There are some decent parts, but on the whole this episode is pretty bad. Matt and Trey shouldn't have to resort to ripping on PRO WRESTLING, of all things.

Rating: D+ (fourth tier)

Episode 1309: Butters' Bottom Bitch

2010-03-13T06:53:00.003-05:00

Butters' Bottom Bitch (10/14/2009)

Synopsis: Butters unknowingly becomes a pimp.

Butters' naivete can be good ("Cartman Sucks," "Casa Bonita") and bad ("Marjorine," "The Death of Eric Cartman"). This episode, thankfully, falls firmly into the good category.

For once, grossout gags actually work as well. In general, "South Park" has gone so far over the top in its history that its recent attempts to surpass that have virtually always fell flat. Mrs. Garrison comes to mind, actually with a ton of pain from all the shit episodes featuring her having sex simply to provide a stupid joke. But here, having Sergeant Yates be a prostitute actually works, and the scene where he shits out cum is easily the funniest moment of this run, and possibly season.

The ending could be a lot better, and the pimps aren't great either. But the episode's still pretty fucking funny.

Rating: A- (first tier)

Episode 1308: Dead Celebrities

2010-03-11T17:00:00.003-05:00

Dead Celebrities (10/07/2009)

Synopsis: Ike sees ghosts of recently-dead celebrities, prompting the boys to discover that Michael Jackson's ghost has taken over Ike.

About a month after Michael Jackson died, I was leaving the Palisades Park Mall after a long night of drinking. It was well after midnight as the crowd of partiers began to disperse. I passed by a music video kiosk. The video playing was Michael’s “Black or White,” and I stopped to see if it was the short or long version. You know, the one where Michael turns into the panther and wreaks havoc on some part of town.

It was the long one. I decided to watch. It was as terrible as I remembered, and yet I couldn't look away at the train wreck on screen. Michael started doing that weird dance, and then began to smash the car windows.

I looked up. Everyone in the mall had stopped to watch. It was one of the weirdest moments I can remember. And this was before the best/worst part of the video, where he started grabbing his crotch and screaming wildly as the set exploded behind him.

Only Michael could make it happen. And in this episode, he's a godsend. It's weird how we've seen a thinly-veiled parody of Michael on "South Park," and then the real thing. But he's essentially the same character, and the same jokes are still funny five years later.

If only the rest of the episode didn't embody the worst aspects of the show. Matt and Trey continually criticize "Family Guy" for its brand of humor, yet they continue to use what are essentially manatee gags - here, it's the parodies of the old woman from "Poltergeist" and a general one of "The Sixth Sense." The latter is especially bad, as it's just an excuse to hear Ike say the film's catchphrase, except it's changed to, "I see dead celebrities." The rip of "Ghost Hunters"? Well, I'll go further into detail when another episode with the same problem comes up. But it's just stupid. I've never heard anything about Chipotle causing bloody stool, so either it's a terrible inside joke or Matt and Trey needed a stupid product for Billy Mays to sell. Likely the latter.

And speaking of Billy Mays, the latest running gag also falls flat. It's funny for a few times to hear Billy Mays shilling products even when dead - he actually did it in real life, as he was buried in an OxiClean shirt - but then it gets old. It made me remember how fucking annoying he was, which shouldn't be the point.

Then again, Michael Jackson was the same way. (Just get out the second disc of "HIStory" or "Invincible," then shudder.) But Michael's antics inspired one of the greatest episodes ever. Here, he can only make a surefire fourth tier episode into a below-average one.

Rating: C (third tier)

Episode 1307: Fatbeard

2010-03-09T23:07:00.004-05:00

Fatbeard (04/22/2009)

Synopsis: Cartman decides to be a pirate and takes a few of the boys to Somalia to hijack boats.

Many current events episodes, like this one, run the danger of being irrelevant once the event passes. I doubt anyone remembers the hijackings that inspired this episode now, or why Susan Boyle was so popular.

For two acts, it does. Kyle's great in the first, convincing Cartman to go to Somalia in order to get rid of him, going so far as to pay to make him leave. I was wondering why Cartman allowed Ike to go along, as (according to him) Jews, Mexicans, and gingers can't be pirates - that's a red flag, but for later. It does make for some great jokes as they all get to Mogadishu and realize what a shithole they're in. The second act's almost as good. The French jokes, while tired as hell, are effective, and Cartman's song is the episode's highlight.

In the third act, though, it falls apart. We get not one, but two (!) messages on why being a pirate is bad. Ike's being allowed to come turns out to be one of the biggest IITS moments ever on the show, as the only reason he's there is so that Kyle can go to Somalia and get captured. And the ending, while not strictly a fuck-you ending (it's partially real), is still very contrived and basically a reset button for the run.

It's one of the better episodes this run (and, as it turned out, season) but not a first tier by a long shot.

Rating: B (second tier)

Post-episode: Pee

2009-11-19T01:06:00.002-05:00

Not as bad as I expected, but not great either. It started off nicely, with the pee explosion being the episode's highlight. After that, all downhill, especially the pissing on monkeys gag.

Of the boys, honestly Kenny had the best role, simply for dying again. Cartman had his moments, but the song (while funny at first) went too far into "Family Guy" territory by taking up 5 minutes and the flashbacks weren't great either. Same with Kyle.

It's sad that this is one of the better episodes of this run, and not one of the shittiest episodes of the season. Third tier cusp.

Preview: Pee

2009-11-12T11:58:00.008-05:00

My recap will be more depressing than usual, to mirror this season.

"Dead Celebrities" - Michael Jackson was a godsend to Matt and Trey in season 8, and he hasn't lost one bit of humor. But the innumerable movie/TV parodies ("Poltergeist," "The Sixth Sense," "Ghost Hunters," "Toddlers & Tiaras") and the odd Chipotle skewer cancel out much of that. The titular celebrities are sort of funny, and Billy Mays' parody sums up this episode perfectly: merely repeating jokes a la "Family Guy" can be funny, but not for long. (C)
"Butters' Bottom Bitch" - Butters has been on a roll lately, save for the last episode (later), and this episode is no exception. He's perfectly suited to this type of plot, completely oblivious to his own prostitution company. But the real laughs come from Sergeant Yates going undercover; the scene where he shits out the cum is the funniest moment of this run. The best episode so far. (A-)
"W.T.F." - a rip on the WWE would have been good, when it was still called the WWF. Why, close to a decade after wrestling peaked again, do Matt and Trey now bother to do it? Plus a serious case of not doing the research with the redneck attitude toward wrestling (they should hate the soap opera stuff, not the actual wrestling) and the standard "real wrestling is gay" jokes. At least Kenny dies. (C-)
"Whale Whores" - for once, I was actually hoping Randy would have a bigger role. Because although he generally sucks, his episodes don't normally get as bad as this one. (Except "More Crap.") Yet another episode ripping on a cable show ("Whale Wars") and saying only that it's gay. The worst are the Japanese, with their continual slaughter of whales and dolphins. The ending, where they think that dolphins and whales bombed Hiroshima, ranks among the stupidest moments ever. Not even Cartman's version of "Poker Face" can save it. (F)
"The F Word" - so fag doesn't mean gay anymore. Whatever you say, guys. (D+)
"Dances with Smurfs" - the Smurfs plot is very weird, to the point that even people who liked this ep thought it was dumb, and serves only to set up an "Avatar" joke. The opening gag is standard shock value, and actually is for once. I just don't see the point in ripping on Glenn Beck. The audience already knows he's an asshole, and they're going to watch two shows in an hour which say the same thing. And worst of all, this episode ends Butters' hot streak. He was doing so well. (D+)

A recent comment:

[...] But overall I agree, this season and perhaps ever the two before it, have been mostly bad episodes with a few gems mixed in. Compared to Simpson's or King of the Hill, the only reasonable comps I can think of, they had some streaks of mediocre episodes, but never so many that were just plain bad and unfunny.

I wonder how much longer the show goes on if they keep putting out poor episodes, will the ratings ever slide?

Well, the current deal runs through 2011, which would be 15 seasons. Two more to go. Animation tends to be cheaper than live TV, which is why Fox has an entire block of it and why King of the Hill lasted 13 seasons. The Simpsons still draws viewers when even the most diehard fans admit the show has sucked for over a decade. "Family Guy" is going down the same path, and the other Seth shows were never good to begin with. But it's cheap.

I do expect "South Park" to be renewed simply for the lack of other shows to replace it. "Mind of Mencia"? "The Jeff Dunham Show"? "Secret Girlfriend"??????? - easily the worst show I've ever seen. "Chocolate News" was funny at times, but probably couldn't have been taken much further. "Stella" and "Michael and Michael Have Issues" I didn't like, though a lot of others did. What really killed Comedy Central was the loss of "Chappelle's Show." Maybe the new "Futurama" can actually keep viewers on the 30 minute gap between SP and "The Daily Show."

I tend to be very critical of the show, as one can see, simply because it's been one of the best shows of the decade. How the hell it didn't make AVClub's list and both "Eastbound and Down" and "Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" did is beyond me. However, since 2004 it's been an utter shell of itself, since "Team America" came out. The show's ratings probably won't ever decline to the point where the show becomes unprofitable, but it's fast becoming unwatchable.

If there's ever an obvious dud, it's this episode. Unless this is the biggest swerve since Terrance and Phillip, this is going to parody "2012." Disaster movies are a well-trodden parody subject for Matt and Trey: "Pandemic"; "Pandemic 2: The Startling"; "Lice Capades"; "Die Hippie Die"; and "Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow," all airing within the last 5 years. All fourth tiers. And with the fucking stupid 2012 apocalypse theory tie-in, there'll probably be another lecture on why its believers are stupid. Yippee.

And "Pee"? "Summer Sucks" had a plot where Cartman avoided swimming because of 1st graders peeing in the pool. That was 11 years ago.

I have absolutely no expectations here. I just hope that it's not a "2012" parody. I'll take anything else.

Post-episode: Dances with Smurfs

2009-11-11T22:44:00.001-05:00

Things we learned:

Glenn Beck is an asshole.
So are all Fox News guys.
They're only interested in money.
Obama doesn't have as much power as they claim.
People are idiots.

So, nothing original. Like this episode. Terrible.

Preview: Dances with Smurfs

2009-11-11T01:59:00.001-05:00

This appears to be a parody of Rush Limbaugh or other right-wing blowhards. This would be nice, if the show airing 90 minutes after it wasn't already. What the hell are they going to say here?

If it isn't that, I can't think of anything else good that could possibly come from it.

Again, low expectations.

Post-episode: The F Word

2009-11-05T02:44:00.002-05:00

My biggest problem with this is not the assertion that "fag" is now OK to use because everyone uses it now other than as an anti-gay slur. It's not, since many people still do use "fag" as a gay slur, but that's beside the point. It wasn't very funny, but that was also a secondary problem. Even the bad running gag (the biker gang's revving) and the bizarre Emmanuel Lewis joke weren't as bad.

No, my biggest problem is that it's a ripoff of other older episodes, notably "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson." Both use common slurs (nigger/fag) to illustrate that we shouldn't have problems using them anymore. The last one wasn't very successful, and this wasn't either. I recognized

It seems lately that all Matt and Trey can do is redo older episodes. There were a few decent parts here, like Butters becoming a biker and the return of Big Gay Al, but not nearly enough. Third/fourth cusp.

Preview: The F Word

2009-11-04T12:19:00.003-05:00

I have no idea where the hell Matt and Trey can take this. If there's one thing that's evident lately, it's that the previews have nothing to do with the rest of the episode, so it's probably just another bait-and-switch coming up. Off the top of my head I can think of two possible things here: a parody of "Wild Hogs" (which came out 2 years ago) and a rip on bikers for some stupid reason. I'd lean towards the latter.

This has been one of the most frustrating seasons in recent memory. We've only had one first tier ("Butters' Bottom Bitch") and the third F in a season ("Whale Whores") to go with "Margaritaville" and "Fishsticks." It's making me really reconsider if I should keep doing this. I'm not going to stop now, but watching it now is a nerve-racking experience simply because of the real inconsistency.

I have no expectations for tonight, because I can't think of anything they can do here.

Post-episode: Whale Whores

2009-10-28T22:49:00.005-04:00

The best joke here: Cartman singing "Poker Face." It's funny because it's Cartman! Singing a really gay song! On a video game that they used once and many fans found hilarious! (Not me, and technically this was Rock Band.) Though I did actually like it for once.

The problem: that was the only good joke. We've now had 3 out of 4 episodes ripping on current cable TV shows, with nothing said about them except that they're totally gay. The standard gross-out gags, as usual, aren't very gross-out anymore. And the Japanese reason for whaling? That doesn't even dignify a response.

If this isn't an F, it's about as close to one as it gets. Three in one season alone, and we've got three more episodes to go.

Preview: Whale Whores

2009-10-28T20:17:00.003-04:00

An episode involving stealing a dolphin from the Denver Aquarium? It sounded much better when it was about a whale and called "Free Willzyx." That episode is the most underrated in the long history of "South Park."

To top off the old plot (there seem to be a lot of them lately) it looks like a Stan/Randy episode. Hooray.

I'm going into tonight with low expectations. Same as last week.

Post-episode: W.T.F.

2009-10-22T01:03:00.002-04:00

Well, it's rare that an episode turns out just as I expected. Everything here's been done to death and wasn't particularly funny. Especially the wrestling/gay jokes and the redneck jokes.

A few decent parts, like Vince McMahon and Kenny actually dying again. But no better than a third tier, probably lower than that.

Preview: W.T.F.

2009-10-21T12:24:00.003-04:00

This is a great idea having the boys become obsessed with wrestling. If only it was 1998.

Seriously, doing a wrestling show now? The sport hasn't been very popular for a long time now. I doubt most of the target audience even watches it anymore. I know I did, but that was very early in "South Park's" run. This just seems like Matt and Trey couldn't come up with anything better. Of course, this could simply be a setup for something completely different, but I can't think of anything logical that would follow.

I'm going into tonight with low expectations. If it's just decent, I'll be surprised.

Post-episode: Butters' Bottom Bitch

2009-10-15T01:27:00.003-04:00

Well, the Butters segment was as good as could have been hoped for, thanks to the other pimps and bitches. He's been very good as of late, except with Cartman. But solo, he's excellent.

The real surprise, though, was the Sergeant Yates storyline. It wasn't a parody at all, but rather another original storyline. Huge marks there. And, for once, a running gag, Yates actually having sex on prostitution stings, actually stayed funny.

It could have been funnier at the beginning; it took a while to get in gear. But other than that, it's a first tier ep.

Preview: Butters' Bottom Bitch

2009-10-14T18:08:00.002-04:00

Not much to say here. On the one hand, Butters' probable storyline has great implications if Matt and Tey can do it right. This could be a great boys-being-boys episode. On the other, the second storyline looks likely to be a parody of something.

I'm going in with high expectations. If they stick to Butters, it should be very good.

Post-episode: Dead Celebrities

2009-10-07T23:07:00.002-04:00

One indisputably great moment: anything having to do with Michael Jackson. He livened up the entire episode. It was great to hear Ike saying "That's ignorant!" and grabbing his crotch.

Unfortunately, that leaves the rest of the episode, which was pretty bad. Like "Pinewood Derby," Matt and Trey seemed to have about 4-5 different plots (the dead celebrities, Cartman/Kyle's arguments over chipotle, the rips on "Ghost Hunters" and " ", Ike's aforementioned transformation into Jackson, etc.) and just couldn't decide on a primary one.

Not a good opener. At best, a third tier.

Preview: Dead Celebrities

2009-10-07T17:36:00.002-04:00

Back to the salt mines for another half-season of "South Park." I pray that this will be better than the last run, but as usual lately I'm confident I will be proven wrong.

I don't know what to think about tonight's topic, mainly because I haven't ever seen "Ghost Hunters." From the looks of it, it's probably going to be a parody of some TLC show, like "Tsst" or "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy." Now "Tsst" was great, but "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" was merely average.

I'm going into tonight with mixed expectations. On the one hand, it's a new run, and that is exciting. On the other, I have no idea of what Matt and Trey will do. It's weird.

Episode 1306: Pinewood Derby

2009-10-06T18:22:00.005-04:00

Pinewood Derby (04/15/2009)

Synopsis: Randy cheats to help Stan win a pinewood derby and accidentally causes aliens to visit the Earth.

There's really nothing more I can say about Randy that hasn't been said. He's the Wesley of this show. Any episode he touches turns to shit.

This episode is no different, but has a number of other problems. The biggest is that it doesn't have a set storyline. At first it seems to be yet another Randy/Stan episode with the pinewood derby aspect. Then, it suddenly switches to a "Star Trek" parody, this time of "First Contact." Then we're back to the Randy episode, then to another economic crisis episode. Then the aliens again, then Randy, and finally "Star Trek" again as we close. They just threw everything they could think of into this episode and hoped it would be funny. It isn't.

(Side note - I mentioned earlier that I was happy that Matt and Trey remembered their history. They don't here. Aliens have visited the Earth many times in the "South Park" universe. Even discounting all the times we see aliens in the background, we've seen aliens as main characters in "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" and "Cancelled." And if you want to discount those also, since only the boys and Chef saw the aliens, in "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" an alien ship crashes into the set of John Edwards' show and takes him away. On national TV. This episode is hardly "first contact," and it pisses me off that they use it as a plot device.)

Randy's final words, "Well, that sucked," aptly describe this episode.

Rating: D (fourth tier)

Episode 1305: Fishsticks

2009-10-06T18:17:00.002-04:00

Fishsticks (04/08/2009)

Synopsis: Jimmy and Cartman come up with a popular joke, which Carlos Mencia tries to steal and Kanye West struggles to get.

The fishsticks joke isn't funny. Not even a chuckle, though I doubt any joke could have continued to be funny at 10:30. Neither, for that matter, are Cartman's continual flashbacks to when he claims to have written the joke.

The Kanye/Carlos jokes aren't funny either. Carlos Mencia has long been known to steal jokes, even before he had his own show. He's a joke in the industry. If Matt and Trey were to rip on him, it would have been much better to do it about 3-4 years ago. And Kanye? Even before the VMAs thing his arrogance was also well known. The ending sequence where he becomes a gay fish is either going to be really funny or stupid.

It's the latter, like everything else here.

Rating: F (fourth tier)

Episode 1304: Eat, Pray, Queef

2009-10-06T00:34:00.004-04:00

Eat, Pray, Queef (04/01/2009)

Synopsis: The men and women of South Park get into a heated debate over the nature of farts vs. queefs.

Matt and Trey have generally not acknowledged their past, so this episode was a very welcome change of pace. 11 years to the day after "Terrance and Phillip in: Not Without My Anus," an episode referencing it happened.

And it's much better. The queef jokes are actually funny, as is the ending song parody and Terrance and Phillip in general. (They've gotten much better lately, and it's a good sign that Matt and Trey are using them more.) The Martha Stewart parody, aside from also being a throwback, is the episode's highlight.

This episode joins such episodes as "Jakovasaurs," "Tonsil Trouble," and "Free Willzyx" in my underrated list. The best episode of this run.

Rating: A- (first tier)

Episode 1303: Margaritaville

2009-10-06T00:01:00.004-04:00

Margaritaville (03/25/2009)

Synopsis: The town decides to stop buying things, while Stan attempts to return the titular appliance and Kyle urges the town to have faith in the economy.

A common criticism of the Emmy Awards is that the awards are given to the same shows every year, and that they favor long-running shows as well. "The Sopranos," for example, lost to "The Practice" and "The West Wing" its first four years, but won it for its last two; the last two seasons are infamously bad, culminating with the (in)famous black screen finale. Yet it was honored for those two seasons, simply because the Emmys fucked up the other years.

"South Park" is no exception - Matt and Trey even made an entire episode out of it. It didn't win an Emmy until season 9, the worst season ever. List of nominations:

1998: "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride." Lost to "The Simpsons" ("Trash of the Titans"). Quality wise, "Titans" is far worse than "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride." But it's the fucking Simpsons, so it had to win.
2000: "Chinpokomon." Lost to the Simpsons' "Behind the Laughter." "Chinpokomon" was not the best episode nominated; that was "Family Guy" with "Road to Rhode Island." But "Family Guy" will never win.
2002: "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants." Lost to "Futurama" ("Roswell That Ends Well"). Excellent episode, but "Futurama" at its best is on par with "South Park." This is an example.
2004: "It's Christmas in Canada." Lost to "Samurai Jack." What the fuck.
2005: "Best Friends Forever." Won. Shouldn't have, but this was a makeup Emmy.
2006: "Trapped in the Closet." Lost to the Simpsons' "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story." This ep should have been the makeup Emmy.
2007: "Make Love, Not Warcraft." Won. No question.
2008: "Imaginationland." Won, though in a different category than the others. Family Guy's "Blue Harvest," which lost, is infinitely superior to "Imaginationland."
2009: "Margaritaville." Won. Merely because it's now a semi-respected show, and they couldn't give the Simpsons yet another one.

I will never understand how this episode, one of the worst ever (and that's saying a lot) was even nominated, let alone won. Matt and Trey were right when they shoved their Emmy into a giant pile of shit - but it should have been for this episode.

Of course they were going to do an episode about the economy sometime, but they could have done pretty much anything else and it would have been better. As such, we get shitty parodies and rips at politics and religion, two topics that have been covered much better earlier. Easily the worst part here is Kyle's parody of Jesus, right down to his crucifixion and Last Supper. Matt and Trey have established that they like religion, though not organized. But this entire storyline goes against everything they've ever said on the subject.

The others aren't any better. Randy delivers his usual Idiot Plot, right down to the end. And of Stan's storyline, the horribly disjointed and unfunny satire on how America became broke, the less said the better.

There's nothing remotely funny about this episode. Watching it live made me almost break my hand on the wall punching it in anger. Just simply awful.

Rating: F (fourth tier)

Episode 1302: The Coon

2009-10-05T12:06:00.002-04:00

The Coon (03/18/2009)

Synopsis: Cartman teams up with Butters to uncover the identity of "Mysterion," a superhero who wants to take both of them down.

Like "The Ring," there's a defining moment of this episode. Unlike "The Ring," this is a bad moment.

In this case, it's the deliberate non-reveal of Mysterion's identity. The problem is not that we never find out who Mysterion is. We were never going to be told. The problem is that it was blatantly obvious that Matt and Trey would insert yet another fuck-you ending from the beginning. They've been doing it for so long now, that it actually is a surprise when they don't fuck them over.

This is also a parody episode. Luckily it's the last one in a long line of them, but that still means we have to sit through 30 minutes of gags stolen from "Watchmen" and "The Dark Knight," two movies that have already had the shit parodied out of them. Hell, the whole genre's been parodied. It's all been done before, which makes the episode that much more boring.

A few decent things happen here, but there aren't enough of them. Professor Chaos' return is welcome, and I'm very surprised that with an episode titled "The Coon" that there wasn't any racial joke at all. But on the whole, it's a disappointing episode.

Rating: D+ (fourth tier)

Episode 1301: The Ring

2009-09-30T03:20:00.003-04:00

The Ring (03/11/09)
Synopsis: Kenny's new girlfriend convinces him to wear a purity ring after the Jonas Brothers urge them to do so.
Kenny's death: gets syphilis after Tammy gives him a blow job at T.G.I. Friday's. To date, it is the sixth time he has died since returning.

The white foam is real.

I could write just that sentence and it would sum this episode up. Over-the-top, unbelievably funny, and somehow hits the nail right on the head. Plus, it's a Kenny episode, and they tend to be good; this is no exception.

And yet, it doesn't quite get to a first tier. This episode is the third in a row to satirize a current teenybopper fad, and the wider spread this time, at Disney itself, rather than two of its creations - and yes, I know "Twilight" isn't Disney, but most of its fans also like the other two - makes it less biting. The Mickey Mouse parody is generally spot on, but the closing act where he suddenly changes into a Godzilla-esque thing and destroys Denver goes far too deep into "Pandemic" territory, right down to the complete lack of resolution. And of the smaller target, there's nothing more to be done with the Jonas Brothers; their movie bombed, and I'd be surprised if they're still popular next year.

Still, it's a very solid opening episode thanks to the boys. It looks a lot better in hindsight after the generally terrible rest of the season.

Rating: B+ (second tier)

NFL Draft

2009-04-24T15:42:00.002-04:00

It is again time for the NFL draft. For an explanation, see this post.

I might put up some reactions to it, as I was going to last year but couldn't get them done. Stay tuned.

Post-episode: Fatbeard

2009-04-22T22:23:00.002-04:00

Easily one of the funniest episodes this season, though that's not saying much given the quality so far. Thankfully it wasn't a Cartman/Butters episode, it was more of a Cartman solo one. It started out very nice, and managed to get through two acts without a hitch - though one major problem with this: Ike is Jewish, yet Cartman allowed him to be a pirate despite saying to Kyle that Jews can't be pirates. Why? So Kyle can come in and get captured.

Terrible writing there, as was the case with the final act. Simply five excruciatingly long minutes of why being a pirate is bad (with TWO messages) and a reset-button ending to boot. That really hurt it.

The third best episode this season, but that's not saying it's great. Second/third tier cusp; I'll have to see how it holds up. It didn't save this run, but then again only an A could have.

Preview: Fatbeard

2009-04-22T14:24:00.002-04:00

It's the end of this run tonight, so a recap of the previous episodes.

"The Ring" - obviously influenced by the superior episodes "Elementary School Musical" and "The Ungroundable," but manages to carve a niche for itself. It looks a lot better now in the face of this shitty season. (B+)
"The Coon" - the last parody episode to date, this time of superheroes. Mostly unoriginal jokes about "The Dark Knight" and "Watchmen," with yet another fuck-you ending thrown in. A bunch of good stuff here, like the return of Professor Chaos, can't raise this episode above a fourth tier. (D+)
"Margaritaville" - as predicted, a libertarian episode about the economic crisis. This would be bad enough, but the cliche parodies of the Passion (haven't they done this? yes) and slams at religion make it much worse. The ending shot at Obama seals its fate. (F)
"Eat, Pray, Queef" - a throwback to the original series' intent of boys-being-boys and surreal comedy, thanks to Terrance and Philip and the queef girls. Not the greatest episode of its kind, but still pretty damn good. (A-)
"Fishsticks" - the joke sucks, so why would the episode be any better? Then it turns into a celebrity episode ripping on Carlos Mencia and Kanye West. This is not how to do a surreal episode. Even worse than "Margaritaville." (F)
"Pinewood Derby" - a weird mismash of "Star Trek," other sci-fi, and the standard Randy/Stan plot. Never gets going anywhere, and Randy doesn't hit a new low because he's gone lower before. (D)

If tonight's episode is a fourth tier, this could officially be the worst run ever. That dishonor currently belongs to season 9's first run, with 5 fourth tiers (1 F), and no first tiers. This run has 4 fourth tiers, but with 2 Fs. It's been a horrific show to watch lately.

I'm not sure if a current events episode is the way to go, but it could be good. The Somalia pirate crisis is still going on, which makes this a true current event episode, something that "Margaritaville" was not. (I thought that Matt and Trey would do an episode about the economic crisis last year. They waited far too long.) At least they're using their ability to make shows quickly this time.

The one major holdup I have is that it appears to be a Cartman/Butters episode. I've given up any hope that Matt and Trey will ever stop the pairing, despite the ample evidence that Butters should never associate himself freely with Cartman. "Cartman Sucks" and "Super Fun Time" both had Butters unwillingly pair up with Cartman, which is a big factor in their superiority over, say, "The China Probrem." On the surface it doesn't appear that Butters isn't forced into this. That's bad.

I'm going into tonight with mixed expectations. "South Park" is still my favorite show, but seeing it like this is just painful. Hopefully this episode can save the run, but I'm not counting on it.

Post-Episode: Pinewood Derby

2009-04-15T22:40:00.001-04:00

To quote Randy: "Well, that sucked."

Preview: Pinewood Derby

2009-04-15T00:05:00.003-04:00

A Randy/Stan episode. Just what we need. Just when the show needs a first tier episode more than ever, we're probably doomed to another fourth. They almost never work together well, and Randy's the worst main character today.

Also not looking good is the Pinewood Derby aspect, which according to Wikipedia is Boy Scout-related. While I do like the show referencing its past ("Cripple Fight!", which shows the boys in Scouts), the most likely thing I can think of for this episode is that it'll turn into Randy completely taking over the construction of the car. Which is nice, except that it's been done.

I'm going in with low expectations. If this is a third tier, I'll be happy. Actually, I'll be relieved that it isn't a piece of shit, not happy.

Post-episode: Fishsticks

2009-04-08T22:36:00.003-04:00

The series may have hit a new low tonight in its third act, with Cartman fantasizing about killing Jew robots (on Passover!) and Kanye West becoming a gay fish. That alone would be enough to earn a fourth tier, but this went far and beyond that. I didn't see why the fishsticks joke was so funny, and if I did I wouldn't have after Matt and Trey beat it into the ground in a new record time of 2 minutes.

Maybe I went in with too high of expectations, thanks to my error of assuming Chef would be in it. But even Chef couldn't have saved an episode that rips on Carlos Mencia and Kanye long after every fucking one else in Hollywood did. Carlos Mencia's show isn't even on anymore, and Kanye's long been known to be a dick. And they're doing this in 2009??

As bad as "Margaritaville" was, this is even worse. In no other run, not even in season 9, have there been two Fs. Now there are.

Preview: Fishsticks

2009-04-08T01:59:00.003-04:00

This is a really hard episode to figure out. It could go in pretty much any direction, and I wouldn't be surprised. Hopefully it won't be a parody episode, as last week's episode was the first non-parody I can remember in a long time. Actually, that's probably what it'll be, since it deals with late-night TV. It's very weird when I have generally nothing to go on for an episode preview, but that's what we have tonight.

I am going into this episode with high expectations, though, for it seems that Chef will make an appearance. I pray that this isn't, say, a dream or another throwaway gag, and that Chef is actually going to be a part of the episode. If anything, this will probably be a mediocre episode if there ever is one again, but Chef could make it a lot better.

Post-episode: Eat, Pray, Queef

2009-04-02T01:57:00.000-04:00

My prayers were answered tonight. It was actually a throwback to the earlier days of the show, complete with another reference to the Terrance and Philip saga 11 (!) years earlier. Definite highlights, though, were the queef song and Martha Stewart; her part, where she demonstrates how to decorate a queef (!!!!!!) was easily the best moment of the season so far. That's not saying much, but still.

I could have done without much of the queef/fart jokes at the end, which got old quickly - much like the running gag in "Canada on Strike." (Actually, this episode turned out to be very similar to that, but better.) But that doesn't stop it from being a very good episode. First first tier this season, and the best episode in a while that didn't parody a tween craze.