Episode rating list (revised)

I have reviewed all 181 episodes so far, and this is the list of episodes in order of ranking. Later on I'll add about a sentence or two explaining ranking to each episode.

TOP TEN

1. Scott Tenorman Must Die (501) – A+
2. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo (110) – A+
3. The Return of Chef (1001) – A+
4. Good Times with Weapons (801) – A+
5. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (101) – A+
6. Towelie (508) – A+
7. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (613) – A+
8. Cartman Joins NAMBLA (406) – A+
9. Fat Butt and Pancake Head (705) – A+
10. Make Love, Not Warcraft (1008) – A+

NEXT TEN

11. The Jeffersons (807) – A+
12. AWESOM-O (802) – A+
13. Kenny Dies (513) – A+
14. Casa Bonita (711) – A+
15. Red Sleigh Down (617) – A+
16. Child Abduction Is Not Funny (611) – A+
17. Cripple Fight! (503) - A
18. Trapped in the Closet (912) - A
19. Chickenlover (203) - A
20. Tsst (1007) - A

FIRST TIER

21. Breast Cancer Show Ever (1209) - A
22. Starvin’ Marvin (109) - A
23. Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants (509) - A
24. Helen Keller! The Musical (414) – A
25. It Hits the Fan (502) – A
26. Proper Condom Use (507) - A
27. A Very Crappy Christmas (417) - A
28. Woodland Critter Christmas (814) - A
29. It’s Christmas in Canada (715) - A
30. Simpsons Already Did It (607) - A
31. Super Best Friends (504) – A
32. Cartoon Wars Part I (1003) - A
33. Cartoon Wars Part II (1004) - A
34. The Passion of the Jew (804) - A
35. The New Terrance and Philip Movie Trailer (604) - A
36. Cherokee Hair Tampons (407) - A
37. The Biggest Douche in the Universe (615) - A
38. Hell on Earth 2006 (1011) - A
39. Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride (104) - A
40. Cancelled (704) - A
41. The Ungroundable (1214) - A
42. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Jesus (316) – A
43. Asspen (603) - A
44. Imaginationland (1110) - A
45. Mecha-Streisand (112) - A
46. Cartman Sucks (1102) - A
47. Chef Aid (214) – A-
48. Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery (312) – A-
49. Cartman’s Mom Is a Dirty Slut (113) – A-
50. Weight Gain 4000 (102) – A-
51. All About the Mormons? (712) – A-
52. Free Willzyx (913) – A-
53. Butters’ Very Own Episode (514) – A-
54. The List (1114) – A-
55. Up the Down Steroid (803) – A-
56. Something You Can Do with Your Finger (409) – A-
57. Elementary School Musical (1213) – A-
58. Fantastic Easter Special (1105) – A-
59. Terrance and Philip: Behind the Blow (505) – A-
60. The Entity (511) – A-
61. Chinpokomon (310) – A-
62. Imaginationland Episode II (1111) – A-
63. Spookyfish (215) – A-
64. Goobacks (806) – A-
65. World Wide Recorder Concert (The Brown Noise) (317) – A-
66. The Snuke (1104) – A-
67. Canada on Strike (1204) – A-

SECOND TIER

68. Cartmanland (506) – B+
69. An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig (105) – B+
70. South Park Is Gay! (708) – B+
71. Red Hot Catholic Love (608) – B+
72. Cartman’s Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut (202) – B+
73. 4th Grade (412) – B+
74. Quest for Ratings (811) – B+
75. Butt Out (713) – B+
76. Tonsil Trouble (1201) – B+
77. Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls (209) – B+
78. City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks) (207) – B+
79. Pinkeye (107) – B+
80. Best Friends Forever (904) – B+
81. Clubhouses (212) – B+
82. Bebe’s Boobs Destroy Society (610) – B+
83. Do the Handicapped Go to Hell? (410) – B+
84. Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics (315) – B+
85. Timmy 2000 (404) – B+
86. Cat Orgy (307) – B+
87. Jakovasaurs (305) - B
88. Christian Rock Hard (709) - B
89. Ike’s Wee Wee (204) – B
90. The Death Camp of Tolerance (614) - B
91. Freak Strike (601) - B
92. Jared Has Aides (602) - B
93. Here Comes the Neighborhood (512) - B
94. Quintuplets 2000 (403) - B
95. Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (308) - B
96. Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods (211) – B
97. You Got Fucked in the Ass (805) - B
98. Super Fun Time (1207) - B
99. Pre-School (810) - B
100. Gnomes (217) – B-
101. Summer Sucks (208) – B-
102. Professor Chaos (606) – B-
103. Cartman’s Incredible Gift (813) – B-
104. Chef Goes Nanners (408) –B-
105. Starvin’ Marvin in Space (311) – B-
106. Free Hat (609) – B-
107. Probably (411) – B-
108. Fat Camp (415) – B-

THIRD TIER

109. How to Eat with Your Butt (510) – C+
110. Major Boobage (1203) – C+
111. Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson! (216) – C+
112. My Future Self ‘n Me (616) – C+
113. Death (106) – C+
114. Terrance and Philip in: Not Without My Anus (201) – C+
115. Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime 2000 (401) – C+
116. Prehistoric Ice Man (218) – C+
117. Rainforest Schmainforest (301) – C+
118. About Last Night… (1212) – C+
119. I’m a Little Bit Country (701) – C+
120. Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (1010) – C+
121. The Losing Edge (905) - C
122. Volcano (103) - C
123. Imaginationland Episode III (1112) - C
124. Conjoined Fetus Lady (205) - C
125. The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka (206) – C
126. Fun with Veal (605) - C
127. Go God Go (1012) – C
128. Go God Go XII (1013) - C
129. Chickenpox (210) – C
130. Jewbilee (309) – C
131. Trapper Keeper (413) - C
132. Hooked on Monkey Phonics (313) – C
133. A Ladder to Heaven (612) - C
134. The Succubus (303) – C
135. Douche and Turd (808) – C-
136. Raisins (714) – C-
137. Sexual Harassment Panda (306) – C-
138. The Wacky Molestation Adventure (416) – C-
139. Le Petit Tourette (1108) – C-
140. ManBearPig (1006) – C-
141. Mystery of the Urinal Deuce (1009) – C-
142. With Apologies to Jesse Jackson (1101) – C-
143. Red Man’s Greed (707) – C-
144. Tom’s Rhinoplasty (109) – C-
145. Smug Alert! (1002) – C-

FOURTH TIER

146. Spontaneous Combustion (302) – D+
147. Krazy Kripples (702) – D+
148. The China Probrem (1208) – D+
149. Ginger Kids (911) – D+
150. Lice Capades (1103) – D+
151. Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow (908) – D+
152. Toilet Paper (703) – D+
153. The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000 (402) - D
154. Over Logging (1206) - D
155. Die Hippie, Die (902) - D
156. Damien (108) – D
157. The Death of Eric Cartman (906) - D
158. Grey Dawn (710) - D
159. The Red Badge of Gayness (314) - D
160. Follow That Egg! (910) - D
161. Marjorine (909) - D
162. Night of the Living Homeless (1107) - D
163. Bloody Mary (914) - D
164. Lil’ Crime Stoppers (706) - D
165. Cow Days (213) – D
166. Pandemic (1210) - D
167. Eek, a Penis! (1205) - D
168. Wing (903) – D-
169. Erection Day (907) – D-
170. Tweek vs. Craig (304) – D-
171. Guitar Queer-o (1113) – D-

BOTTOM TEN

172. Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes (809) – D-
173. Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (812) - D-
174. Pandemic 2: The Startling (1211) – D-
175. D-Yikes! (1106) – D-
176. Britney’s New Look (1202) – D-
177. Pip (405) – D-
178. Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina (901) – F
179. More Crap (1109) - F
180. Stanley’s Cup (1014) - F
181. A Million Little Fibers (1005) - F

NFL Draft

It is again time for the NFL draft. For an explanation, see this post.

I might put up some reactions to it, as I was going to last year but couldn't get them done. Stay tuned.

Post-episode: Fatbeard

Easily one of the funniest episodes this season, though that's not saying much given the quality so far. Thankfully it wasn't a Cartman/Butters episode, it was more of a Cartman solo one. It started out very nice, and managed to get through two acts without a hitch - though one major problem with this: Ike is Jewish, yet Cartman allowed him to be a pirate despite saying to Kyle that Jews can't be pirates. Why? So Kyle can come in and get captured.

Terrible writing there, as was the case with the final act. Simply five excruciatingly long minutes of why being a pirate is bad (with TWO messages) and a reset-button ending to boot. That really hurt it.

The third best episode this season, but that's not saying it's great. Second/third tier cusp; I'll have to see how it holds up. It didn't save this run, but then again only an A could have.

Preview: Fatbeard

It's the end of this run tonight, so a recap of the previous episodes.

• "The Ring" - obviously influenced by the superior episodes "Elementary School Musical" and "The Ungroundable," but manages to carve a niche for itself. It looks a lot better now in the face of this shitty season. (B+)
• "The Coon" - the last parody episode to date, this time of superheroes. Mostly unoriginal jokes about "The Dark Knight" and "Watchmen," with yet another fuck-you ending thrown in. A bunch of good stuff here, like the return of Professor Chaos, can't raise this episode above a fourth tier. (D+)
• "Margaritaville" - as predicted, a libertarian episode about the economic crisis. This would be bad enough, but the cliche parodies of the Passion (haven't they done this? yes) and slams at religion make it much worse. The ending shot at Obama seals its fate. (F)
• "Eat, Pray, Queef" - a throwback to the original series' intent of boys-being-boys and surreal comedy, thanks to Terrance and Philip and the queef girls. Not the greatest episode of its kind, but still pretty damn good. (A-)
• "Fishsticks" - the joke sucks, so why would the episode be any better? Then it turns into a celebrity episode ripping on Carlos Mencia and Kanye West. This is not how to do a surreal episode. Even worse than "Margaritaville." (F)
• "Pinewood Derby" - a weird mismash of "Star Trek," other sci-fi, and the standard Randy/Stan plot. Never gets going anywhere, and Randy doesn't hit a new low because he's gone lower before. (D)

If tonight's episode is a fourth tier, this could officially be the worst run ever. That dishonor currently belongs to season 9's first run, with 5 fourth tiers (1 F), and no first tiers. This run has 4 fourth tiers, but with 2 Fs. It's been a horrific show to watch lately.

I'm not sure if a current events episode is the way to go, but it could be good. The Somalia pirate crisis is still going on, which makes this a true current event episode, something that "Margaritaville" was not. (I thought that Matt and Trey would do an episode about the economic crisis last year. They waited far too long.) At least they're using their ability to make shows quickly this time.

The one major holdup I have is that it appears to be a Cartman/Butters episode. I've given up any hope that Matt and Trey will ever stop the pairing, despite the ample evidence that Butters should never associate himself freely with Cartman. "Cartman Sucks" and "Super Fun Time" both had Butters unwillingly pair up with Cartman, which is a big factor in their superiority over, say, "The China Probrem." On the surface it doesn't appear that Butters isn't forced into this. That's bad.

I'm going into tonight with mixed expectations. "South Park" is still my favorite show, but seeing it like this is just painful. Hopefully this episode can save the run, but I'm not counting on it.

Post-Episode: Pinewood Derby

To quote Randy: "Well, that sucked."

Preview: Pinewood Derby

A Randy/Stan episode. Just what we need. Just when the show needs a first tier episode more than ever, we're probably doomed to another fourth. They almost never work together well, and Randy's the worst main character today.

Also not looking good is the Pinewood Derby aspect, which according to Wikipedia is Boy Scout-related. While I do like the show referencing its past ("Cripple Fight!", which shows the boys in Scouts), the most likely thing I can think of for this episode is that it'll turn into Randy completely taking over the construction of the car. Which is nice, except that it's been done.

I'm going in with low expectations. If this is a third tier, I'll be happy. Actually, I'll be relieved that it isn't a piece of shit, not happy.

Post-episode: Fishsticks

The series may have hit a new low tonight in its third act, with Cartman fantasizing about killing Jew robots (on Passover!) and Kanye West becoming a gay fish. That alone would be enough to earn a fourth tier, but this went far and beyond that. I didn't see why the fishsticks joke was so funny, and if I did I wouldn't have after Matt and Trey beat it into the ground in a new record time of 2 minutes.

Maybe I went in with too high of expectations, thanks to my error of assuming Chef would be in it. But even Chef couldn't have saved an episode that rips on Carlos Mencia and Kanye long after every fucking one else in Hollywood did. Carlos Mencia's show isn't even on anymore, and Kanye's long been known to be a dick. And they're doing this in 2009??

As bad as "Margaritaville" was, this is even worse. In no other run, not even in season 9, have there been two Fs. Now there are.